|Reviews for Ace Lightning: Once Upon A Time|
| Blue-Inked Frost 1/31/12 . chapter 13
Annnnd the last chapter. *g* This fic was great fun to read. I love the way you write characters interacting with each other and your sense for dramatic imagery and amazing new situations. New characters, new adventures, dazzling spectaculars, excitement, interesting original characters from Distortion to Allison-I'm so happy that you wrote this fic. Thank you for writing it.
Random's partial recovery was nice to see-Random and Ace's friendship. And I liked Kat using her investigative skills once more to snoop round again! Wayne working with Lord Fear is pretty cool and I can just imagine the various ways it might turn out. Allison being mistaken for crossdressing Mark is also hilarious!
I liked Mark's and Sam's conversation too and how close they still are to each other. I enjoyed the way they were written as connecting to each other in the first series as kids, and seeing their growing wisdom in this story was great. Heather's character development too! Wanting to rescue and help Wayne is also very much in character, and it's always good not to write off a teenage kid as the villain. I think my personal view on Wayne leans more toward Mark's in that series 2 episode where Mark messed up the lab and Wayne showed a little character development-you have a point about burning bugs just to see them fry, but I'd be more convinced of Wayne's possible sociopathy if he'd tortured animals with more sapience in canon. Wayne's new powers seem pretty cool and interesting!
And the ending with Mark and Sam felt a lot like a callback to episode 26. I like how things are still left somewhat up in the air but still hopeful, and Mark's final ending worked beautifully. This was a good conclusion to this adventure.
Bravo-I loved reading this story. :)
| Blue-Inked Frost 1/31/12 . chapter 12
I liked the traditional call to Pete-it served a useful story function and felt very in character for Mark. I also liked Ace's moment of compassion for even Lord Fear. And the bad Knight made for good reading-I don't think he came off as too shallow a semi-antagonist. I loved watching Ace and the others make their efforts to save Random; exciting adventure mixed with friendship drama. I enjoyed Sam's and Allison's interaction and I note Sam's developing wisdom. Allison studying like a human was very cute! :) Sparx' scrawl in the abridged Code of the Lightning Knights was hilarious.
Also liked the bit about the Ace online fandom urging Ace to just kill Random already. I can totally see that happening as part of a lively game fandom in Mark's world!
I liked how the battle worked out with so many people acting to fight the Destroyer and spare Random and Ace. Seeing a movie with superheroes after also sounds like fun!
| Blue-Inked Frost 1/31/12 . chapter 11
I am so late with this! But I know I liked reading it very much the first time. I enjoyed Heather's sarcasm and very strong personality in the first part of the chapter, like always. I like the thought of Heather as Sparx' official sidekick! I can see them being a very bad, or very good, influence on each other. :D Ace's friendship and worry over Random also came over very strongly, and the theme of Ace's emotions. There were a lot of strong relationships in this chapter, from Mark and Heather building a friendship to Heather and Sparx, to Mark and Chuck's best friends relationship and Ace and Random's, and of course Ace/LI continuing. Human-or vaguely humanoid-relationships are really what drive stories along, and I loved seeing so much of that in this chapter.
And I liked the very evil programmer! And the Destroyer is cool and powerful and scary. Very good chapter.
| Blue-Inked Frost 11/16/10 . chapter 10
I liked the way this chapter began with Mark acknowledging what Chuck's friendship has meant to him. And I liked the nod to homework interference with superheroing duties. Save the world, hand in the maths! The shipping is cute. :) Time travel, another interesting side story! Evil!Heather was lots of fun to read about. Very nice way of tying your story together with the title. Good plotting and an excellent read. Bravo, Allison!
| Blue-Inked Frost 8/19/10 . chapter 9
Nice use of that Nietzche quote! Baldur's Gate uses it too. :P I enjoyed the dark mirror characters very much, and the reversed code and the parts about their evil backstory. Dark Mark was a lot of fun! I liked the Evil Brit nature of him.
Sparx showing Heather some moves is a nice touch. And nice babble from Chuck explaining everything.
Sam's feelings about her skills-well written insight, you convey her character nicely. I like how she's prominent in the fic; having her return really worked well. She's such a fan favourite. Heather and Sam talking about compassion was also great.
Getting rid of the evil versions-that felt almost anti-climactic, just sending them back to wreak further harm on their own world, but very dramatic. I really enjoyed that part of the plot. And Random being tempted so was also very well written.
Very good chapter-this fic I've really enjoyed reading all the way through, even if I'm so slack about reviewing it! Wonderful stuff.
| Scarabbug 7/31/10 . chapter 12
Wow, sorry I could've sword I had reviewed already. I'm afraid my input will be lacking it's usual useless, but long widned content.
That somebody has finally given Random the ending we've wanted him to have all along - he deserves it, and at least SOMEBODY'S life is a little less complicated now. I'm also happy to
Occasionally, I'm starting to find some of your grammar and sentences a little hard to untangle. I get that you're writing to finish at all (yay completion) but sometimes I have a little bother dissecting your meaning, so maybe one more once over before posting might help? It can sometimes help to leave it for a couple of days and come back to it with a fresh perspective. But generally I'm still loving your story and the twists you've made... well, make SENSE.
Oh, on that note, hope you don't mind that I did some fanart of one of your earlier chapters. I'll try and send you a link via PM, since doesn't seem to link links in comments.
| Blue-InkedFrost 5/31/10 . chapter 8
Sorry to be so late getting back to reviewing you! I have enjoyed your latest chapters very, very much. I liked the image of the three girls wandering the shops and seeing the amulet in the aquarium, and i thought the fight scene was good. And the dark mirrors of the characters-I do love it when writers go there. :D This was a very nice chapter.
| Scarabbug 5/9/10 . chapter 10
I should'veknown there was more to that title than just a fairytale.
Alternate realities. Got to love those alternate realities. And you’ve created a haunting one here – I feel sorry for Sparx, sent to oblivion like that, and I have no idea what on earth they’re planning with that rather dangerous looking permenant-killer of yours, but it’s not going to be pretty.
It would’ve been nice to see a few more glimpses into this strange future world – looked at what happened to other characters – Mark’s parents, Ashley’s, see a little ore of how Heather turned out the way she did (and that bit was especially painful but also, to me, realistic. I admit that if anyone was going to yield to power and turn it would probably be Heather)... what happened to people like Duff and Chesborough? There’s a lot of potential in this strange future of yours.
Seeing naive, friendly Allison turning into a cold shut out person like Sentinel is kinda heart breaking (after their previous scenes together, I can see why she’s taking Heather turning on them so hard.) Still it stung to watch her die...
Brett on the Lightning Flash. I’m sorry I should think of something more coherent to say about this factor, but I just can’t get over the idea of BRETT ON THE LIGHTNING FLASH. I would never have thought of giving it to him, but I’m very pleased you did : )
There are a few typos and confused sentences here and there thought nothing spectacular. If you ever want a beta reader or something, just give me a call (not that I’d be a brilliant one, but I’d certainly give it my best shot.)
And when Ace-not-Ace popped up? I probably should’ve seen it coming, but I didn’t, and it was a nasty shock, especially seeing as you imply that Allison senses that he knows and is seeing exactly what is going on. You’re pulling something clever with Random’s program trick and I’m looking. By the why what happens to the rest of the Knights while evil-possessed Ace is kicking their asses?
And Chuck! *eeeps in horror and strongly hopes that Chuck is not going to be killed. *
The idea of a Mark who is so wrapped up in his powers to the extent of barely feeling reality anymore... just one big , fascinates me. I may well have to draw that, if it’s okay with you. Of course, I’m not surprised that in the end, he couldn’t resist trying to warn Chuck of what could be about to happen...
I really look forwards to the next chapter.
| Blue-InkedFrost 4/12/10 . chapter 7
I liked the emotion of the first scene with Mark; I think you conveyed the strong, dark feelings there very well. Heather defending Wayne was funny, and so was the school cafeteria food joke. Sorry about the short review for this chapter, I did also think the action scenes were well done.
| Blue-InkedFrost 4/5/10 . chapter 6
I *really* liked your first line there. :D "There was something comforting in the morning for Duff Kent when it was still dark, curled up with Mr. Huckleberry on the old couch he had converted into a bed." He! Lord Fear did pretty decently at planning, for him, in this. I also enjoyed all the interaction between the kids in this chapter-Mark, Sam, Heather, Kat, Allison.
Oh, school shooting. XD That couldn't have been part of Fear's original plan. Heather and Allison escaping was fun to read.
You raised the tension a lot around Mark's hospital bed-well done there. Good climax!
| Blue-InkedFrost 4/4/10 . chapter 5
I like the quotes you've been adding to the starts of your chapters-very apt, very nice. It was fun to see you starting this chapter with the traditional conversation between Mark and Pete. Allison trying to fit in and Kat being disdainful of the other students were both good character points, I thought, and again I really enjoyed Sam in your writing.
And a fight scene! Again, Distortion is great, and Googler. :) And Mark and Kat discussing their emotions, followed by Lord Fear-I liked that transition. Very good part, that fight at the end.
| Blue-InkedFrost 4/3/10 . chapter 4
Tee-hee, Allison the misbehaving young Knight. :) I liked the intensity at the end there, "What was with Ace, the rigid control she normally felt on his emotions was gone and a mixture of grief and hatred was so strong that she was scared. What was wrong with her brother." Nicely done. Good chapter, advances the plot! Can't think of much more else to say about it, but very nice.
| Blue-InkedFrost 4/3/10 . chapter 3
And it's this one where you started to put a lot of worldbuilding in. I like it! Although I'm not sure I like equating Rick with a real-life Nazi; it seems inappropriate to me to use such a real life horror in the fantasy Sixth Dimension. I did really enjoy re-reading Distortion's introduction. :D And you put a Shape Shifter Swan Song (sorry, TV Tropes) in there with Lady Illusion, before it was a TV Trope. And Sam coming back is great.
| Blue-InkedFrost 3/31/10 . chapter 2
Sparx wanting a rocket launcher is still hilarious.
I liked the Lightning-Knight-vision "MORTAL CHILD TRAINING EQUIPMENT". A nice, and quite amusing, callback to the Acevision shots in the first few episodes. And Sam's honest, open, "I thought it would hurt falling out of the sky"; Sam finding out and returning is a lovely thing. I don't know exactly what you cut from the chapter, but it didn't feel too brief to me; it started with some nice Simon humour, advanced the plot, and had Mark come to that great realization at the end there. "It was never a game. It was no longer a- the game could be a portal- it was. All of this was real. And deep down, Mark knew he had known it all along."-I really love the way you chose to build up the Sixth Dimension in this fic into a world.
| Blue-InkedFrost 3/31/10 . chapter 1
Here come the Reviews After Revision. :) Especially in your other story, the chapters have changed so much from what I recall them, so I'm going to start here and work gradually up to the new chapters.
This one was short and a good prologue. You nicely established the situation as after the last episode, introduced Allison in a businesslike and admirably restrained fashion, and I really liked the way you portrayed Ace's emotions. I thought especially in the last three sentences that you strongly conveyed his grief and anger. It worked. _ (Now I click to Ch. 2!...eventually.)