 Black 2004-11-05 . chapter 1Well, it was bettet than some stuff I've read, but their were a couple of errors that made it a bit annoying. Mainly spelling errors but also I don't think Ruki would 'melt' for any guy, even one she reall liked. She got too much strength for that. Or at least thats what I think. Best of luck and I hope you continue improving. |