Extremely amusing. For future notice - though you did seem to address this in the later chapters - while your side notes at the bottom are entertaining, a page break or "The end of Chpater__ " would create a clear distinction between the story and the added notes, making them much easier to read. Overall, well done.

I love the story, and the randomness before and after each chapter. Now to see any other stories you have.
-Kate

OMG! *spaz* how could they steal pocky!?! *sobs uncontrollably*

I rather like the Rin/Rysha dialogues. However the story itself has some . . . bumpy spots. I suggest visiting
/writing/
as your one stop shopping for writing help. As an example of one of the 'bumps' I found:
"She also saw a 747 jet coming. It landed on the road, slowing to a halt. Before Ron could say anything to her, they hopped onboard and took off. . . The ride only took two hours and soon they were landing."

1) 747 is (roughly) 230 feet long and 195 feet wide (about football field) not going to fit into the neighborhood
2)747 can't land with a full fuel load so they're going to have to land and refuel before heading to Japan.
3)Depending on takeoff weight, weather, air density, etc you're going to want at least 60 feet of runway for takeoff (and hope you don't have an engine out and end up in Bueno Nacho
4) 747 cruise is Mach .85 which gives about 10 hrs LA to Tokyo.

Why do I bring this up? Because these are unnecessary problems. There doesn't seem to be any need for a 747 in the story so why use it? Remember the "Middelton Space Center"? An SR71 'might' do the trip in three hours (depends on where you decide Middelton is) or use an imaginary 'space plane' that either cruises at better than Mach 3 or can make a sub orbital hop.

With animation, having a 747 land outside your house might be funny. But in prose . . . meh . . . not so much. It 'could' be used for humor (I recall a story that had KP picked up by little grey men in a flying saucer w/ a joke about being 'probed') but simply as a device to move KP from point A to B it's not so good.

FELIX?! Oh man, you totally had me thinking it was Kim and Shego lol. Poor Monique, though, now she's dateless...

This is a great story, please keep on writing more chapters^^

Omg, I love this story!
I first read it on Deviant Hearts a few days ago (yeah, I actually spent the whole night in front of my PC...) and now I just felt like reading it again. >.

Oh my! My friends got ticked at me for making them replay that episode so many times! Hiro is one sexy beast!

POCKY! ^_^ lol that was so orginal i loved it! though why would u steal pocky? it is like a dollar lol

I love this story. I added it to my favorite. I hope you keep on writing more stories in the future. The love scene w/ kim and shego was steamy =D.

Excellent plot and nicely written. Not to many spelling errors.

Thanks for writing

i love this plees plees plees make the sequel. and im not just sayin that coss Rysha threatened me

The song's 'Never Gonna Stop' by Rob Zombie from his 'The Sinister Urge' album.

I had to find out cuz I knew I'd heard the lyrics somewhere! Turns out it was yesterday while I was listening to it on my way through town.

cool story, by the way. :D

Your my heros on this site. I love you guys. Must teqch me how to this much of a rantin author one day. I got th rants down but I need a partner to rant with...anyways great story I'm loving it!!

Oh and whoever said SheGoZ nipplez have to be green are stupid!!
Na-ah If you look at her in the cartoon SheZ not even that green!! I dont know why everyone egg-zaduratez (lol) with the whole green Skin thing! Yada blah-blah-blah your wrong Thats all. LaterZ! 8)

LUvD your story! I kinda thought it went fast and stuff in thw whole KiGo thing but whatever hehe. AnywayZ Nice story im goin to read the next one laterZ or whatever. I So wanna read it now but I cant mrr. But ill start on it later KayZ?

Kim is so CUTE!! I wuv her, and shego is just her bad self lol I LOVE her two! anywayz I talk alot so, LaterZ 8)

i agree with rysha--strawberry is way better! also, great story.