Reviews for Empty Sky - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Empty Sky

degrassijayandalex 2008-06-21 ch 1,	abuseFirst thing is that this fan fiction was great.Another thing is that it was all about Alex and Jay.So that is why I loved this fan fiction and thought that it was amazing.I love it how Jay cares a lot for Alex.How he protects her and she does the same thing for him.Also another thing that I liked was when you said that when Jay found out about Alex's dad that he was ready to pound him to a bloody pulp.Another part that made my laugh was when Jay was like Towerzs thought we were together just because it was convenient, but then again he spent most of the time being third wheel to them watching them all over each other.lol.Oh and the last thing that I wanted to say was that I have read I think all of your jalex fan fictions.They are all amazing just like this one is.Hope that you do make even more jalex fan fictions.
samitiny 2006-11-13 ch 1,	abusethat was great I loved it!
Evablue 2005-01-28 ch 1,	abuseIt was an interesting story with good tone to it. It matched up with Jay/Alex... You kept the two in character really well; I didn't see any OOCing. I think the best part of this story is your ability to capture Jay and Alex and place them in a setting that matches them. If felt like Jay and Alex. However, THERE, THEIR, and THEY'RE are different words and you kept confusing them. You also have a slight problem with knowing how to properly break up your paragraphs. Your sentences are choppy and you have a few run-ons. You also seem to jump around and your thought process on some things seem to be scrambled. An example of this: -Alex probably spent most of her time at his house, slept there most nights. He liked it best that way his mom was too self-absorbed and his father was to drunk to care about the girl in his bed, they probably didn’t even notice. He’d prefer her safe with him then at home with her abusive father her mother was smart enough to leave when the abuse got to much, of course she left Alex with her father. Apparently protecting her daughter wasn’t high on her to do list. Left Alex to take her beatings.- It would work more smoothly and be more properly structured if it was more like this: Alex probably spent most of her time at his house; slept there most nights. Jay liked it best that way. He’d prefer her safe with him than at home with her abusive father. Her mother had been smart enough to leave when the abuse got to be too much. Of course she had left Alex with her father. Left Alex to take her beatings. Apparently protecting her daughter wasn’t high on her to do list. Jay figured it was probably a good thing that his mom was too self-absorbed and his father was too drunk to care about the girl in his bed. His parents probably didn't even notice. Sometimes it just seems like you start one thought, throw another one in between, then go back to the original one. It slows down the flow of the story. I think getting a beta to read through and edit it for you before posting would be the best solution. The writing is there, the structuring is just off. -Eva:) PS- Again, liked the story.
Josie21612 2004-11-05 ch 1,	abuseomg omg i loved this! jay and alex, mostly alex, are my fav characters this season, and i love when people go deeper than just making them bullies...wonderful job
LadyKatyUltimateFan 2004-11-05 ch 1,	abusevery cute...i love Jay and Alex!! It warms my heat lol!!
xxflychica88xx 2004-11-05 ch 1,	abuseI like it! I also agree with your review on my poem about Alex, I'm currently working on a fanfiction about that! But great job. I think you are a very good writer
Maibe Josie 2004-11-05 ch 1,	abuseI love how you write Jay and Alex

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