wow i like this poem a lot. its really good =]
keep up the good work

FallOutGirl7

Guess I just wanted to say that I liked the poem. I actually read it quite a while ago, but something must have stuck since I found myself remembering the title without being able to place it. I always was a sucker for a good title. Not that the rest is bad, mind you. I think the only thing I would change is the last little bit; "said/unsaid" seems a little repetitive so close together, but that's just me. Still, the rest has a quiet simplicity to it, and I like the choppy broken sentences. I think it gives a more intimate feel to it.

This brought tears to my eyes. ;_; I don't usually like most of the fan-poetry that's posted around - it's typically over-angsty and gothy, but this was sad without being "angels of bleeding death and damnation reap the souls from the tattered fields of blood, and did I mention there's death?" and all that malarkey. My personal two penn'orth would be that "you went for me" doesn't sound like I think you meant it to - it sounds like "you attacked me", like a dog going for his master. It would read less ambiguously as "you came for me", and would still scan... Other than that, wonderful. ^_^

Hmm...

My poem-fu is not puissant, but here I go.

I did enjoy the sadness in your words, if the "woman of marble" is slightly cliche.

For some reason, when I started thinking of the marble woman metaphor, I started thinking of Galeta (think that's her name) from the Greek myth with that sculpter fellow. There's this scene near the end of one version of the myth where the fellow is sculpting a statue of Aphrodite and falls in love with it, so Aphrodite makes the statue real. Warmth spreads through the stone, etc.

Appropriate and effective to end on "Unsaid," since, of course, that's just how things workin their relationship.

Not so hot on "client's"; seems to clunk a bit. Maybe expand it to a second line so you have something like "When you read the offers / of (something or other) men?" You could also call them "proposals" from "suitors," I suppose.

Possible question for a future poem: if Mireille's the marble statue, what's Kirika?

Been waiting for another piece or update from u :)

I have to admit, this one doesn't seem as good as the other fics you've written, but I see it's been written awhile ago. I get a feeling of resignation and sadness from it, as if Kirika has sort of given up on getting Mireille to return her love for her.

~There are only
"Good morning"'s and "Good night"'s,
"Shoot to kill" and "We're out of time."~

From these lines there seems to be some sort of tension between their relationship too.

Out of 5, I'd give u 4 on this...I suppose some people might think it should be lower but I like your work too much to give u anything lower than that XD