I think its great, I wish there was a book like this!

Pretty nice. Only a little choppy at times, with some cool wording. The change to the dark side is just a little abrupt though, somewhat out of character, in my opinion. Nice idea about the "flash from the future" thing. Will we ever figure out what that was, if it was more than just the Force?

Cool.
I thought your name was Cloud though...Are you both a Jedi and Dark Jedi?

Dun dun duh! cool.
I like the angle.

O, action, adventure,...sugar!!

Otherwise this is very good story, keep it coming!! And don't kill Cloud, or risk being flamed!! Not that you would right?

It is a tad choppy, I think-- but if it's just history... well... (shrugs) I know I've tried a bit of history-ing myself, just never that I'd bother posting.
It's interesting, I know that much. You're like me, in that manner-- lining up fanfics. And being evil with them. The difference is I almost always work with several characters.
I have a problem, I suppose, building worlds so deep I can't keep track of them.
Sigh. Cool update, though a bit hard to read.

Wow...touching, very touching. you did really well with this one, but it was sad, very sad. More would be nice though... keep it up!