 the blank pen 2004-11-19 . chapter 1Eh, it's terribly short. Even if all you wanted to do was establish character relationships and personalities, you could've given some more meat to the chapter.
The concept isn't particularly compelling. Try to give your audience more than a couple of teenagers that like, or don't like a televison show. I'm sure the story can develop nicely given some more attention to detail, and some more depth. Keep writing, good luck. |