A very VERY good battle scene. The way the attacks were described was excellently done. Shadow's naturally ruthless battle style is captured perfectly even though he isn't himself currently.

Still more redundant diolouge used however. "A firey ball of fire" in the first paragraph is just one example in this chapter.

Otherwise, this is a great chapter. I give it 4/5.

And Shadow appears! Shame he's possessed, but it's a good element you used here all the same. Where's the ghostbusters when you need them?

There is a slight error in sentance structre here, where Miguel asks Shadow what his deal is. The line "What is wrong with you, Shadow? I mean, why are you acting this way, Shadow and what do you want the Chaos Emerald for anyway?" would read better without the second "Shadow". Otherwise an ok piece of work.

Using the emerald to run supersonic speeds is pretty clever.

Now we finally have Miguel remember what was going on with his issues. Must've really been thrown for a loop when he appeared in serena's world. A good way to add a bit of suspense and mystery, nice work.

I like how you had the power ring have a different effect on Miguel seeing as how humans don't really have special powers like Mobians do.

I'm a bit confused by the line "It was a green Chaos Emerald, one of the most powerful natural forces in the universe, shining at the bottom of my backpack like a beautiful jewel". I know this is an old work but a lot of that line seems kinda redundant to me. Specifically "shining at the bottom of my backpack like a beautiful jewel". Probobly would have been better as "It was a Chaos Emerald; one of the most powerful natural forces in the univers, lay there shining at the bottom of my backpack".

Despite that one thing the rest of this chapter is pretty well done. You took the time to explain the situation Miguel was in, some abilities, and the ending of the chapter was excellently done with the evil cliffhanger. When it was first uploaded I bet a few people were crying foul over it lol.

Me: Ah, the first jabs at Serena's cooking! Perfectly done.

Crow: Rini's a cute kid. Suprising she's more mature than Serena at age six.

Me: Now we come to see some small redundant lines here. I know you weren't in the mood to make proper descriptions for this but having the same line for the description repeated like that is a tad tedious. Then again I really doubt there would have been any other means of explanation for those familiar with the series so I can let it slide.

Servo: Lita's reaction to Miguel's manners was expected, and perfectly done. Though considering the age of both Miguel and Lita as well as the other inners, saying "young lady" to adress her seemed kinda...I dunno...

Me: Don't worry about it, Servo. Anyway, Servo just thought that since Lita, the other inners, and Miguel were about the same age, saying ma'am or miss as opposed to young lady would have been better. But don't mind bubblehead here; he's picky like that. Overall this was a very good chapter, and things are beginning to heat up.

Servo: For some reason, when Miguel said his first words in this story I imagined him sounding like John Wayne. Must be the "Little lady" bit at the end of the sentance.

Me: Be nice, Tommy. Alright, moving on here we have another solid chapter. The pace is clicking along at a reasonable rate, it hasn't gotten into the main point of the story yet which is good.

Servo: I really got into the description of that bizzare pain in the brain Mguel experianced. Nicely done.

Crow: Yeah I can't imagine how that'd feel.

Me: You can't anyway. You don't have a real brain. You're a robot remember?

Crow: Oh yeah.

Servo: Good move on serena's tender and gentel side. Very well done. I'm suprised she didn't trip over her feet coming through the door though.

Me: You gotta give her SOME credit. The sword's description at the end was perfectly done. I imagined it looking much different years ago for some reason. I imagined a blade like a pirate's sabre for some reason.

Crow: Heheheh...Avast ye bilge rats! (gets his eyes turned around after getting punched in the face) Sorry...

Me: We'll be back next review sign.

Me: Alright, it's Review Sign.

Crow: For the life of me I'll never understand why you never got around to review this.

Me: You wanna end up as a cuisineart?

Crow: ...Then again, I can't blame you for forgetting.

Me: ANYWAY...An excellent start to the story. Being in first person helps you get to know the character. Especially given his background check.

Servo: Yeah it helps draw the audience in, and you didn't go overboard on the backstory. Good move.

Me: All in all this is pretty much flawless. A perfect start, a good sense of foreshadowing given the mention of the emeralds and the mystic weapon mentioned.

Servo: Why didn't you say sta-(gets thrown against the wall)

Me: Because I didn't want to leak a spoiler in case any newbies come across this and are either too lazy/heartless/afraid to leave a review but read them anyway. Anyway the description of the bedroom is top-notch, and extra points for the mention of the cat, whom givin my earlier statement regarding the weapon, shall remain nameless for now (as if it isn't obvious enough for fans of the show). Anyway thats all for the prolouge chapter.

Crow: And it's commercial sign. (gets looks) Sorry, habit.

yay

Nice. The other characters are involved too. I hope Amara, Michelle, and Tetsa are there too.

Nice job. You meeting Serena is very cool. Serena's japanese is Usagi. Very cool chapter.

Very cool start. I'm saving this so I can read the rest.

Hey! Finalzidane-X' in the house!

This is a good story for two chapters I have read so far. I also like Sailor moon... a little... played the RPG game and cleared it... Bu I think it would hae more sense and belonging if you don;t use those friggin' debbuged names! Serena? What the hell is that? IS USAGI TSUKINO! Then Rei Hino, Amy Mizuno, Minako Aino and Makoto "I donl't remember her last name"... And Sailor scouts? SAILOR SENSHIS! and silver crystal? THE NAME IS GINZUISHOU! Anyways, just a siggestion. I;m not mad. I just love to use caps on. But if you linke to use the debbuged names, then do it. And I'll keep reading this. Will you be a male sailor Senshi? Or like the Sailor Starlights tunring into a woman?

Alandra: It was a very cool fic you made.

Sunny: you did a very good job esplaining who are the characters of Sailor moon, it help us understand.

Ramon: keep up the good work. will there be a sequeal?

Maliska: Now what happen to Miguel?

Alandra: Damn

Sunny:Damn

Ramon: Damn, Miguel is going to save the day.

Alandra: Dosne't that Ixis ever gives up?

Air Jay he sounds like a cool villan to me!

Alandra: SHUT UP AIR JAY!