I really liked the way it was written, the flashbacks were used well to complement the actions going on at the moment.

The only thing I would change is to remove the japanese honerifics from the names and replace them with english, I would personaly also change Leal's refrence of sensi with instructer just because the entire story holds more of a european feel to it.

I really enjoyed your take on the casting of shamanism magics.

Well done! It's an interesting take on Zel's history. ^_^