Heh… I already like Moonblade. You don’t have any artwork of him, now do you? Anyway, I liked that battle between Diablos and Lucifer, although I wish it had been just a hair longer. Anyway, is there a reason that Lucifer and some of the other OC’s in here seem more powerful than X and Zero? I thought they were supposed to be the most powerful? Good story, just don’t make anyone too unbeatable. And I still don’t trust Lucifer at all. Something just doesn’t seem right about him. Anyway, keep up the good work. I think you’re getting better at writing fight scenes.

-Ri

A few formatting problems and a garbled paragraph, but otherwise pretty good. I noticed that near the very end of the chapter when Lucifer was talking, you accidentally called him Diablos, so you may want to change that. (I think we all manage to screw up on names from time to time.) This chapter got more interesting near the end. It sets up for a potentially exciting battle sequence next chapter. (Correct me if I’m wrong- the chapter after a cliff hanger or a promise of immediate action is often the hardest to start writing!) Well, keep up the good work. Other than the problems (That fan probably threw in) your writing is pretty good. Keep it up.

Much better battle than last time; there just seemed to be a lot more to it. Search Man’s little cameo was interesting also. I guess I’m assuming that this version of him doesn’t have two heads? Nice job and keep going. (I still think X’s fusion armor is cool!)

This chapter just felt a little rushed, the battles written rather generically, Zero’s moves a bit general. It was good, and I enjoyed it, but a little more detail when Zero fights would be nice. Also, having Wraith die was okay, but it appears that you made him up just do die in this chapter; you should have made mention of him earlier if you wanted the overall emotional effect of his death to hit home. (I know video games do it all the time, but they don’t always have the best story development…) Still, nice job and I look forward to more. Wonder what’s become of Accel?

Nice little teaser for the battle that lies ahead; I can’t wait to see what happens! The Fusion armor sounds really cool; especially the wings! Great writing; I look forward to more.

Good stuff, but I'm still going to strangle you if you don't hurry up and post more here or on PMM. =P

A nice little aside that illustrates how the Maverick Hunters are dealing with all of this, but the switching to first person and then back to third is a little odd. If nothing else, those last few lines should have been separated from the rest to avoid some confusion.

Not a whole lot to say to this chapter; I personally think you should have combined it with the next as a separate section, since is was so short.

Nice battle. I like the fact that Zero isn’t too good do be cheap, or to run away when he needs to. It’s nice to see some unorthodox fighting for once. Also, I don’t usually like it when people include the skill attacks in the battles in their fics, but you did it artfully, and I actually found it enjoyable. In a way, it reminds me of watching red-mages fighting. It’s just a given that they can do these crazy, spell-like attacks, I guess.

One has to pity the maverick hunters here. Kardina’s pretty skilled. Not a whole lot to say, but I’m glad to see you can write a decent-length battle that does not get boring.

Very nice. I’m starting to particularly like Accel as a character. He doesn’t seem overly perfect or stereotyped, but he is cool without particularly trying to be. I enjoyed the little fight scene, and now I’m curious about what he meant by “Yin reploid.” Could Accel unwittingly be the subject of Lucifer’s “Yin” experiment?

Picking up in the interest-factor; Diablos sounds interesting, except for his name. Lucifer… Diablos… I’m starting to notice a pattern here… Anyway, you should have started the fic in the third-person point of view, since you didn’t intend for it all to be from X’s. Other than that, I’ll say you can write a decent minor battle. I can’t wait to see what a major one looks like.

I predict death and destruction; w00t! But did you have to make this short little paragraph an entire chapter on its own? Seems like kind of a waste… By the way, if you are going to write a story from the first-person perspective of somebody, you really should stick with that, instead of switching to third just to see what someone else is doing.

I’ll review this chapter by chapter, or I will forget to comment on things, I’m sure. So far, you’re off to a good start; you’re writing’s pretty decent, and I like reading a fanfic from X’s point of view… especially when he seems to have a slightly different attitude than he is usually stereotyped with. Time will tell which way the plot flows or how deep it grows. The only things I have a problem with is, for one thing, don’t you think that using “Lucifer” for an obviously darker character is a bit over-used? You’re choice, I guess. My other problem is that I’ve noticed your name come up in reviews of other people’s fanfics, and you always beg people to review yours. For the record, I actually didn’t read it for a long time because I and others like me often assume that if you beg for reviews, then you aren’t very good, which really isn’t the case here. I admit that I did it once or twice when I was a newbie, but you aren’t a newbie anymore.

Well well, I like the fact that you use many of Zero's weapons from X4-6. Keep up the good work!
Can't wait to see next chapter!