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| The Jack of Spades 2007-12-29 ch 1,  | abuseI was going through my favorite stories list recently, and became curious as to what some of their authors were up to (your Leo/Terra story has been on my list for years). And here I find you wrote Nooj/Paine! What a pleasant find! A pity that your first review was of no help to you. Allow me to give you some pointers in its stead. For one thing, before you first posted this, you might have been better off having a beta reader look it over. You have quite a few little grammatical and spelling mistakes (particularly, "LaBlanc" should be "Leblanc"). Also, you gave the reader the fleeting impression that Nooj had been romantically involved with Leblanc during FFX-2, which is completely untrue. However, what mistakes you made are outshone by your excellent characterization. The dialogue was well-suited to these characters. To me, those things are the most important elements of a story, and any author who has those things down pat has great potential. You also did the fandom justice by writing a piece for its most overlooked canon pairing, which automatically endears me to this story. Overall, it was deliciously sweet and romantic. Paine was the only character in X-2 who could melt Nooj's heart. You also did a commendable job of explaining Nooj's reasons for his suicidal attitude in the past. It's an explanation I agree with wholeheartedly (and really, what other explanation could there be?). This may be a few years old, but it's a very good story, and you should be proud you wrote it. |
| Cable Fraga 2004-12-10 ch 1, | abuseHeh... Sorry, Ikon... I found this in my archives, and I couldn't quite recall which side was which. I'll correct it. I would hope that that wasn't the only reason why you were disappointed. :) |
| 1FG-BEM 2004-12-09 ch 1, | abuseunno what the one down me is talking bout. this is a very well written story. the wording and the dialogue (s/p? hah) is very nicely done. though they're not really a favourable couple of mine, i found this to be a very enjoyable story to read. keep writing. |
| Ikonopeiston 2004-12-07 ch 1, | abuse"right arm and leg" - it was the left set. Sigh of disappointment - this started off so well. |