Hey Nia. Its been a while. sing along now "welcome to the hotel california..." This song was running along in my head when i was reading your Lakeview poem. As to your comment with Walter having nothing to do with the hotel I beg to differ. Room 302 was the room he was born in (true it was south ashfield but I think it was linked to the hill when he performed the Ascension.) Room 302 in the Hotel seems to be a place where key truths are revealed as well.
Anyway I liked what you did with the poem. As usual you are on form. Keep writing
CHeers
Wolf

Good poem as always. It is interesting the way you brought walter into it and different. I have never seen a poem like it on the site! Your flow is good! I can't think of a request... hm what haven't you done? I'll come back to you with one when I can think of one. Anyway I restarted "Caged in the darkness" and renamed it "the infidels" and basically changed a lot. I hope you decide to check it out! well done on your poetry!

Bravo! A modern day Shakespeare! There is only one word I can say... MORE! Please make a poem about the evil nurses, They're my fave enemies... Great piece of work!

o. very good. I rarely get time on this site anymore. anywho I am re-writing "Caged in the darkness" at the mo so I took it down and I will be putting it back up again sometime after xmas! I will try and review more of your stories wen i get time!

Hey Nia. Long time no see. Ok I liked the brookhaven poem. A nice little reminder of hospital for me with all the IV references. God i hate those. You gave the hospital the feeling it needed. Not necessarily evil but cold and clinical. the heart beats were a nice touch. throws another sense into the mix. Good job.

I wasn't so sure about this poem though. A good ending but it definately reminded me of mr Kings carrie but hey you're working from requests here. You had a nice structure to this one almost like a chant. That was cool. Still hit and miss but you are coming along well. Great work Nia. Keep it up. TTFN
CHeers
Wolf

Wow this was just amazing, your updates were all so good. The way you write poems is so powerful, well done! I have to put this collection into my C2 Community (hope you don't mind) as it genuinely is outstanding! I loved the bit of personification in the ending line of the last poem too, a nice touch!

Bye!

Not that's it's important, but you never said anything about Maria being murdurded by those two Pyramid Heads.

oh that was creepy and good. I love how you describe the feelings of the hospital. It creates a great atmosphere. Update soon :)

I will try and read your story when I get a chance. I have to catch up on a few other readers as well so don't blame me for the time lapses. I'll update "Caged in the darkness" when I can which will hopefully be soon!

Good feeling about this poem. It is really dark and weird. I like it :). I can't go into details when reviewing poems so don't blame me for the shortness of this review!

Yay I get to read some of your stuff again finally! I am so busy at the moment as you probably know since I've been saying it every time I have talked to you! First of all let me say no where is John whatshisface silent hill thingy story... yeah i'm gonna stop now. I too have bad memory. I can remember that story though and the main character Jessi. Wat happened? Why did you take it down it was so good!

This is a brilliant poem though I can really feel the feeling of the lake. It is exactly how I would describe it.

I hope there are more silent hill fics up soon I'm really missing my gore these days and I don't really have much inspiration to write my own. I will try and continue it tomorow but I can't if I don't have inspiration. I've blabbed long enough. Onto the next poem!

Good God. I think you have just gone and made up for the Toluca poem. I'm not exagerating (or spelling right)when i say that there are touches of dark genius in this poem. A very menacing feel to it and when you mix it with kids who are by nature meant to be pure and innocent it just enhances the overbearing presence of evil in the place. My fave lines have to be

"It’s a little notion dark and proud

That faces me each time my doors are opened

It can’t be quiet and it screams real loud

And doesn’t stop until my doors are closed up…

My nights are filled with murderous prayers

The sun never returns fast enough

I listen intently to their godless nightmares

Their sleep is always rough"

Kick ** stuff nia. I noticed you said you worked ** this one. Let me tell ya it shows. Just a couple of things. The orphanage is called hope house or wish house not 4S that is the name of the cults front. Either that or the smile society. Some of it is not as good as the above passage but thats ok because it accentuates the quality of the good bits. Well done. TTFN.
Cheers
Wolf
ps Cheers for the recent reviews.

Hm, I must say that I am only SLIGHTLY disappointed in this one. Here goes my critiquing list:

*I like the idea behind it. Toluca is certainly a lake that holds much of the town's secrets and even some of the plots. It definetly has a history. Nice choice.

*However, you could have described the history in a bit more detail than four or five line stanzas. I will say, though, that the lines you chose were not bad, but you could have lengthened them or added to each their own.

*Your choice of words... AS ALWAYS-PERFECT. You have a wide vocabulary. Nice to see you putting that to use in even your newer poems. You're keeping it fresh and real. Good work.

Well, that is all until you update. I say you should go back to the second Silent Hill. You missed a few characters there (the murdered children). Not to mention that if you want to get REAL technical, that you create poems for the residents in South Ashfield in SH4. You don't need to cover Lisa, though. She's the nurse in the first one. So, do one for the skinned guy (mike) and Richard, and so on.

That one simple stanza... "Disable the bullets, please,
I am not your snaring enemy. My hair entangles every aspect of me, You trail it like a disease…" reflected her like a mirror. You are showing love, tragedy, despair, fear, and the most important emotion of all in Silent Hill-a parallel sense of the world. You have done this in your peoms so far. Don't stop now.

You captured this character well. You do most of the time. I understand I am behind in the reviewing of your poems. I will critque your newer ones.

I wish you luck, mwha.

Ha.

Alright kid. What about ye. Good to see you're keeping up with the poetry. OK i'll review as I go. First thing there are a hell of a lot more bodies in that lake then just 14. Trust me on that. Diabolically revered. Nice. Ok something about the ooh and ahh line just isn't sitting right with me. Affection is not a word i would associate with the lake. Secret bit is good.

Ok in conclusion you could have gone all out with this. There was a lot more detail you could have got in. Toluca prison, the things referred to in the paintings in the prison. the recital bit in particular. The way the old gods reside there. Thats where James got mary back from in the rebirth ending. What you have isnt bad at all. I'm just disappointed that you left out so much. Glad you mentioned the Baroness that was one of my favourite side stories. I half expected to see her whenever James was out in the row boat. Like the hill's own wee ghost ship.

Keep up the good work and take time when you are doing it. You seem to come across as a bit rushed, especially in the later work. Take care. TTFN
Cheers
Wolf