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| trinity_v 2005-12-19 ch 1, anon. | abuseAmazing - so heart felt. |
| Joelle 2004-12-24 ch 1, anon. | abuseHee hee... it's so sweet whenever either one of them get jealous! Thanks for the cute story! :D |
| Billy Rose 2004-12-18 ch 1,  | abusegreat story very sweet |
| no name 2004-12-16 ch 1, anon. | abuseGreat story! One thing that I would have liked to see which I think would have made the story better, would have been at the part after Shalimar tells Emma that she loves her and a tense silence ensues; I think that there could have been a little more description of what was going through Shalimar's head, maybe her thinking, 'I might be losng her right now', with Emma's loss for words. I think that a little more description of the facial expressions and thoughts would have highlighted the tension and made it more intense and real than just saying that there was tension. But, overall, great story, I think you nailed down the characters and the situation really well, and, until Shalimar's confession, did a really good job with the emotions and the images. After Shalimar leaves the club, however, it seems to get a little spotty; more of the emotion becomes implied and the image seems a little more implied. However, I liked your ending a lot: I am a huge Shalimar/Emma fan and love any story about them, and this is a great one. |
| gelf 2004-12-16 ch 1, | abusecute and funny story! hope to see more from you. Do you want to archive at Onca's Dreams? click on my webpage in my profile. |
| huntress2004 2004-12-16 ch 1, | abuseI love it when Shal (or Emma) is so jealous! Thx for this f*ing great Story! :) |