And you thought I was never going to review this...Well, psyche! I'm here! And I'm reading it! And reviewing! And using sentence fragments to express myself!!

“Nah. After what he’s done? He don’t get to go on living no more.”

~Hells yeah, Race. Can I tell you how perfect that line was for Racetrack? It was perfect. It took perfect to a whole new level.

“Because the chances of me, the son of very rich, influential people, being found guilty by a jury are very slim. That is, as compared to you, the poor, stupid one.”

~...Maybe Mark is Felony's son or...wait, this is an 1800's story, so...ancestor? I think so.

"I grabbed it and, with a steady hold on my weapon, raised it without aiming. I opened an eye – it was pointed directly at the ceiling. I didn’t shoot."

~That was so incredibly David, I'm just...wow.

Holy fucking shit, moseph!

I mean...whoa.

I want to rave about how simply amazing, breathtaking, and perfect this story is, but I just feel...whoa. There are no words. This is how stories are supposed to end. I mean...blow by blow, this chapter was perfect. The pace was perfect, the length was perfect (that's what she said...sorry). EVERYTHING.

Why did it take me so long to read and review this? WHY?

You just amaze me. This was good. This was...whoa. "Whoa" is the word. That last paragraph and line still have my heart pumping.

Fucking good. That's all there is to it.

Wow. What a tragic ending.
It ended beautifully moseph.
I loved it.
:]

Oh
My
God.

JACK.
*flails* This is a superb story. I am in love.
I can't believe you killed JACK!
... now, David has to kill Mark.

UPDATE?! soon?!

sniff.

i'll fuck that murderer up, yo. beat the mofo before he knows what happened.

i love you mofo (this mofo is different than the previous one)

i'm tearing up too! this was so sad. =[

i like the ending of the chapter though.

yes! i like this better! aww, poor jack! =[ i bet it was mark... that dirty rotten scumbag... i love how skittery is like jack's second-hand man, now that david's in school. =]

i like skittery. a lot.

OMG.

OMG.

OMG.

Jack...died? He seriously...? Gah. For some reason I wasn't expecting that. :( aw, that's so freaking sad!! I just want to...grr to Mark.

*is mad*

*not at you, though*

*because you are very awesome*

*but you already knew that*

*update soon!*

Bumlets: Well, what’s your style, then?
Me: Newsboys.
hahaha, that was good. and snitch's pick-up lines were funny as hell!

and in the actual story, i love how jack answers to davey's question, "got any tactics?"

LMFAO! that was the funniest one yet! =D
can't wait for the fight between david and mark to start! i'm a sucker for action-packed stuff.

Hey! So updated!!

And I was going to review last night, when you did, but it was midnight my time, and I was tired. Anyway, now I'm reading.

You want to know which line totally amazed me? Like, whoa:

"I could barely see Jack under his clammy skin,"

That was good. Really, really good.

"They, like me, knew he was a lost cause."

Sh.it. This is bad, isn't it?

"He coughed and I swore I heard death in the sound. "

Not to interrupt an amazing moment, because the exchange between Jack and David is seriously excellent. It's like...I don't know. It's beautiful, and it's obviously between to friends, but I like that it's borderline-slashy, you know? Recently, I've come to appreciate borderline, interpretation-based slash. So I liked that a lot.

Oh, right, the reason I was interrupting. That line just reminded me of FIGHT CLUB, when Marla's all like, "Do I sound like I have a death rattle...?" Anyway. Sorry. You know I get sidetracked like that.

“You’re smart, Dave, an’ I never was.”

Holy. Freaking. A. What are you trying to do? Make me cry? I have to go watch little daycare kids and hide from monsters and dance to the Wiggles! I cannot be crying!

Must...read...on...

"he died like an urchin in the street, dirty and scared."

You're killin' me, smalls!

Like...whoa. I don't know what you were on last night, but you were ON. That was incredible. I mean, yes, it is totally amazing, but I think one of the reasons it is so shockingly awesome is because you've never written anything like that! You write incredible humor, and some great romance, but you've never really done edgy drama-angst. That was perfect.

By the way...You killed Jack! I can't even complain, because I've killed him a dozen times, but still...I do recall a certain "NO! NOT SKITTERY! HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL!" comment when he was killed off in Hellie, so I figure we should bring this full-circle (seems like we're obsessed with that, huh?).

NO! NOT JACK! HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL!

And I had to laugh at the pimps comment in you A/N. Oh, yes, I could tell those pimps were packin' heat! Or...er, carrying guns. I'm no good at this gangsta stuff...right.

Wonderful chapter!

Oh God. First thing in the morning, at work early and I'm trying not to cry. The emotion in the chapter has done me in - I can't believe Jack is gone...

Now I have to wait a year before I find out if Jack dies. ;)

oh, mofo, it was brilliant. i love your writing style. and poor jimmy. yeah, i call him jimmy. what?

you can maim jack but you can't-... actually, i can't lecture on killing jack. because i've done it. oops.


anyway: you are amazing. just drop out of school and commit to writing. phsat. who needs high school?

love you,
kathleen

I can't believe I haven't seen this story before... *scratches head* It's possibly the best one I've read in a long time. 'Specially cause it's about David. My friends and I have our own little fan club for him. Moscow is teh sh*t. :)

You're REALLY good about writing Sarcastic!David, you know? It's funny, and I've cracked up once or twice reading this. I also enjoyed reading the kissing thing at the begining and end of the chapters, while they lasted. They were fun. :D

PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE UPDATE I'M DYING HERE!!

Err, yeah. :)

ME~

When I saw the chapter-alert thingy in my inbox, I actually gasped. And that's all I'm going to say about that. I mean, okay, I could go into an incredibly long, detailed description full of witty remarks and the occasional pun to illustrate how long I've been waiting for an update, but...nah. You know, right?

I skimmed over last chapter, just to make sure I remembered everything (huzzah, I did!), and it reminded me how very, very much I love your writing. It's just so effortlessly hilarious. I have to stop and think how to incorporate humor when I write, and you practically ooze it! (On a side note, I'm sorry I used the word "ooze." It's so disgusting-sounding. It reminds me of a scab or zit or the slime they used to use on Nickelodeon back in the '90's when I was a tender young watcher).

And you want to know the best part? It's like David's sitting here telling me. It sounds so much like him! So few people actually try to write Davey well; they figure he's boring because he doesn't have an accent and is all anti-violence. But he's really cool psychologically speaking. He's witty and...

David: Much as I like all this astounding praise, how 'bout you read and review the chapter now?

Right. Okay. The chapter.

"the literate newsies."
~Ha! I like that thought. So, just out of curiosity, which newsies do you think would have been illiterate? I'm sitting here kind of contemplating it, and I'm thinking Crutchy...and maybe Blink, what with his screwed-up vision and perception troubles. Hmm...Maybe even Mush. He seems like such a simple lad. I'm gonna be musing over this for the rest of the day, now...

"He pointed to a thick, round one near his wrist."
~Whoa, that is so Bender. Like, as sad as his story is, I'm somewhat disappointed he didn't say, "That's what you get in the Bender household when you spill paint in the garage!" Even though that line would have made...zero sense in the story. Still, it makes me want to watch THE BREAKFAST CLUB again.

"Pills and liquor. She arranged for me to be sent here."
~And now I'm having a GIRL, INTERRUPTED moment. "You chased a bottle of aspirin with a bottle of vodka." "I just wanted to make the shi.t stop." I've been watching too much television...

Which is the episode of "The Sopranos" that's on tonight! Da.mn it! Da.mn my incessant TV watching!

So...whoa. Despite all my personal movie allusions, that whole part with Jim was very good. If I may, the whole part about him cutting himself was very, very good. People seem to forget that self-mutilation isn't some new, 21st century development. Incorporating that in such a casual manner was very good.

Anyone else finding it funny that I just spent the previous few paragraphs going on about how hilarious you are, and then the first portion of the chapter turns out to be very serious and dark?

"Mark certainly did have nice bicep muscles, I had to note as I unthinkingly grabbed one bulking arm to steady myself."
~LOL...Gah, so random, Davey, but so realistic. It's what people freaking do...I love it.

Ack! Mark...in the cafeteria...please don't let this be a SLEEPERS flashback...Please...I could totally go into my SLEEPERS rant, but I want to read the story.

"It was Skittery, looking pale and anxious, no newspapers in sight, not even a hat. His hair was mussed and there was a trace of stubble on his cheeks and chin."
~You already know this, but I adore Skittery...and now, I adore him even more. Much as I'm all for the clean-shaveness...that was pretty hot.

"I had no idea where we going. I was starting to worry about my safety and that of my best friend. And furthermore, I could feel my arm beginning to bruise. Summoning all my remaining strength, I wrenched my arm out of captivity and whirled around to face Skittery. He motioned for my arm again."
~That's freaking amazing. You built suspense in like 3 sentences. C'mon, I want to know what's going down with Jack!!

“It’s Jack. He’s been stabbed.”
~Ho. Ly. Shi.t.

So I'd be lying if I said I didn't kind of see it coming; I mean, Mark has to get back at David somehow, and Jack's his easiest target. But the way you built up to that moment was so perfect.

By the way, that paragraph about Skittery all messed-up and excited--that was great. The whole chapter was crazy-fantastic. I'm in love with it. I'm pretty much in love with the whole story. But, yeah...amazing job.

So I hate being prodded for updates, so let's just make this a happy medium. Try and update in less time than it took for this chapter to get up!

Thank ya!

What a happy surprise for a Wednesday! Another chapter!

You wouldn't let Jack die to make Dave more miserable, would you? You just wouldn't, right?!? C'mon now, lets think this through - an angsty David is a wonderful thing, but only if he has Jack to help him survive it all. Best friends, brotherhood, my constant need for Dave/Jack friendship stories... :o)

Thanks for posting another chapter!