I know I'm all late on this story, but I have to say, that is an EVIL cliffhanger to leave us on for how long, now? Dude, this is good stuff. This is realistic for the game, and I'm enjoying every minute of it. When you have the time, please update this and all will be right with the world...or at least, our world.

(B-D)

Pretty good action. Similar to a lot of other novels, but your chapter refines it with its military expertise. Again, I've said this before, but nice use of military terms, etc, etc.
This isn't one of your best chapters, I will agree with that. The action, while good, stretches itself too thin throughout this chapter. There are some awkward parts in the dialogue, but overall, it has nice and accurate comments by marines, pilots, etc.
It's a same that you released this chapter a long time after your other three chapters; I've pretty much forgotten the whole book, and it's gotten kinda confusing. Oh well, that's really not your fault.
Anyway, solid chapter again, Phantom. I'm not really sure where this story is going...though good, it seems just like a standard marine/zerg story; is it being expanded a bit to accompany a more intricate plotline?
Smurf

Refreshing! Good to see the Starcraft community is not completely raped of good writers. Sorry for the crude comment, it's just that. Really now, look around. Keep it up.

-Will

Interesting turn of events, and I like the way you have several narratives going at once. One thing I would have liked is splitting the last two paragraphs up, it was awesome stuff, but I always get lost if there's no breaks.

Wow, excellent story so far. The combat is good, traditional, and detailed. I can tell what's going on, and I can easily vision the surroundings. The talk between the troops and officers seems very natural and realistic, and military-like. This is one of the best stories I've ever read on this website.

My only complaint, still, is that you have commas, apostrophes, and periods where they don't belong, such as in the second-to-last paragraph when you put Marine's and Ghost's when the apostrophes didn't belong there (the apostrophes should only be there when it's possesive, and it wasn't in that sentence).

Excellent story! I'll be sure to read the rest later, for this is pretty good. I can feel the tension here, and I can feel the emotions of the soldiers.

My only complaint is that you have a few grammar mistakes here and there, such as misplaced or missing commas or periods, and at one point in the last paragraph you have "their" when it should have been "they're," but nothing real major.

So, all in all, this is a good story, and I am eagerly awaiting to read the rest of it.

Hi everyone...
First off, sorry there has been such a long delay between chapters... I really DO intend to finish this story, honestly... however being that exams are coming around (I am in high school after all) I've been studying... and also most unfortunate I've hit, kind of a writer's block... I really despise Chapter Four... have great ideas for Chapter Five (seeing the 'beaches') but can't get Chapter Four the way I want it... so sorry for the delay...

To Sonicdale -->
Thanks for the comments, I don't know what I was thinking on the Goliath part, I assume I meant to put Anti-Air instead of Air-to-Air, but thanks for catching it...
-->For the Ghost's, thier display picture has three green lights, I just assumed those were the implants, thanks for the actual info though
--> and for characters I was hoping to follow a few, to have total POV, the 'Sparky' Evans, 'Shrike' Winters, Cpt. Arthurs, and Sgt. Clarkins

To Smurf12-->
-->I dont actually own the game or manual so I assumed the phycic abilities of the Ghost... as for 'thought patterns' I dont know where I got it from, but probably from one movie or the other ;)
-->The "Objective" was kind of like a flashback, (Im currently working on an almost prequel to this story in addition to the chapters for "HtB") I want to tell the tale of how the Ghost's got to an enemy territory in the first place, dive deeper into the tactical squad and covert op type of writing...

...so yeah, just an update to say im not dead and neither is this story, once again, sorry for the wait... but trust me... ch.4 as it is right now really sucks... im going to have to re-write most... >

Chapter 3 pushes the plot along - but is a bit choppy. Love the 'red eyes' watching... :)

Loved the Ghost. Hope for more.

Aye, once again you have created a perfect military world of SC, Phantom. And I love it.
Not only have you managed to develop your characters well, you have also managed to create them so they are absolutely believable. The Imperial Guards thing is a little too good, reminding me of Star Wars. So I guess this takes place after Brood War? I kinda forgot. Otherwise, this is really good; the Ghost actually feels like a Ghost, with all its dialogue, it feels like what a Ghost would say. Also, the defection too, is a nice bit to the chapter. There are a few minor grammatical errors which don't impede the story.
I'm also very interested in the "thought patterns" thing the Ghost was talking about. I'm assuming you are referring to the Psionic powers a Ghost has, but where did you get the word from, or did you make it up?
The "objective" the Ghost had was also suspenseful...I like. The Scourge thing was nice too. I know I'm showering with praise, but you deserve it: this is probably the one of the best SC Military-based story I've seen.
Smurf.

'nother small error that i see all the time is the air to air hellfires. since the goliath is a ground unit, the hellfires have to be ground to air...oh and i demand a cookie for waiting for the next chapter j/k good story so far

a little error, occular implants (at least from my understanding) are just put into the eye, (for extended vision range or something like that) and that they wear the visor for IR and/or nightvision

overall i really like the story and they sound like real people

Nice. A bit sketchy on what will happen (foreshadow!) but very nice. I liked the banter of the cargo/fighter pilots. You've got that down pat.

Is Arthurs going to be your main character? A POV here would be nice, or following a certain character or characters...we need to care for someone...

Good story. Looking forward to more.

Cool, but why did someone clean off the beacon?

Great story.
Reading the rest of this chapter was a great experience. This is an awesome story from all angles, and your background with military jargon and commands is fully reflected in your story. Dialogue is natural and sounds like military men talking to each other, and description is very organized and vivid in a military perspective.
Exciting as well, and adds some humor to the SC Universe with the comment on marines losing their meals during the dropship ride, and the "Mother of Kerrigan." Organization of storyline and characters is fantastic, and you bring a certain depth to the world of SC by describing everything in a militaristic, professional tone. Alluding to mythology (I don't know if you intentionally did that) with the Artemis suit also gives the air of a professionaly crafted story, as does the nice suspense with the marine commander stabbing a cloaked Ghost.
Basically, what you do is create an awesome world militarily with your precise and knowlegable use of military technicalities and I raise my glass of apple juice to salute that. I haven't seen this type of story for a while.
There are little spelling and grammar mistakes, and your plot, though heavily used in the Starcraft Universe as "Marine/Zerg" stories, is polished.
These stories can only be good if the writer knows anything about the military, and you certainly do.
You have one loyal reader to "Hitting the Beaches." Keep writing.
Smurf.

I really liked it, but you should focus on punctuation. I got kind of cnfused a few times, when I didn't know whether there was a comma that was supposed to be there or not.