No faults, as usual. :) I love how you write them.

-Kimly

Your Sirius is a very complex character, realistic for a twelve year old and true to canon. I do like the way he hates the helplessness he is feeling and how he externalises that onto the moon, without ever really acknowledging that that is what he is doing.

Aww, what a sweet story, a nice look at the worrying Remus's friends must have done. The joy of Harry Potter books is that ff writers can examine the things that JKR does not talk about, like Remus's lycanthropy, and what life must have been like for them. A beautifully introspective fic, I shall now go and read the rest.

have a cookie

x

'Tis bcb

I liked this!! Nicely done!! Good job! ^.^

I liked it a lot! The use of British phraseology was clever and realistic. I wish, of course that it was longer (but i haven't read the other two yet). I also wish we heard James and Peter's point of view. It would be cool to know what Peter though of the whole thing early on, seeing as he betrayed them in the end. Maybe you should write about how Peter ended up in Griffindor in the first place. It dosn't seem like he belongs there. Just a thought with little to do with Midnight Vigil but I would love to see what you do with it.

Oh, you must continue! I think this is a wonderful opening chapter to a great story. Please do not become discouraged by few reviews at first, it took me a long time to work up my reviewers and it would take my whole story to equal what you can do so beautifully in one chapter.
I don't think I shall look upon the moon the same way again.
Mrs. Fawkes
P.S- just checking to make sure you have not changed your e-mail address, I sent you a draft and I want to be sure you got it. Or just by pass the draft and keep working on this story!

oh, i like it!

After all, I don’t think I liked this piece any less than “Dawn Epiphany”, which I reviewed earlier. For its length, this one includes a lot and gives a lot to a reader. Very well done.

I felt that in the early paragraphs the sentences were a little too long and complicated. A bit later, however, when you included more separate short phrases, too, I got the impression that the long sentences were a conscious stylistic choice – and I felt it worked better and better.

I’m glad James was awake! I mean that the piece became so much more vivid when Sirius was not left alone to only think about the things. I like the paragraphs following Sirius’s first words to James a lot. You’ve worded Sirius’s thoughts here fluently, and the phrases said aloud by the boys sound natural to me.

I’m happy you’ve included Peter, too, and unlike one reviewer of yours (if I remember correctly), I wouldn’t take Peter’s (habitual) snoring as a sign of betrayal or even of not caring for Remus. You have portrayed both Sirius and James wonderfully and shown us something of your Remus’s characteristics, too, in Sirius’s memory of their talk, besides his more abstract thoughts of his friend.

This piece will serve well as an opening of a longer story, and I’ll be looking forward to continuation to Dawn Epiphany.

this was a really sweet one-shot. Short, emotionally understandable, and simple.
really connects to the reader in that everyone at one time or another has felt helpless for a friend.

good job.

"He doesn’t think he can stand another night of Remus not being in his bed where he’s supposed to be..."

This immediately brought lovely slashy thoughts to my mind, although you probably didn't mean them. :)
I found this one-shot whilst going through the "Swimming In Plot Bunnies I" thread on FAP and thought I'd take a look. Very sweet and different, Sirius' thoughts on the moon. I do wonder, did Sirius ever find something that helps?
Archer

Lovely. In character, well written, and tugs at your heart strings. *sigh* just...lovely.

That was lovely! Well written and emotional, I could really feel Sirius's character coming through and his worry for his friend.

It was nice that they didn't immedietly lurch into a plan, but were left with the helplessness ou always feel when a friend is hurt.

What is really odd was that in the car earlier I was looking hard at the nealrly full moon and thinking about what it would be like to be afraid of it...so this fic was very apt!

I liked the part where we saw Peter snoring, it gave a nice hint towards his future betrayel.

I'll have those moderated bunnies up in a few days, but until then Merry Christmas!

Emmy