Awesomest ending! Can't wait to got on with the sequal!... tomarrow maybe, thought. I got a headach. But maybe I can cetch a sneek peek, before I go to bed. lol But I'm glad Sky made it. Kinda glad Sharok did, but I can hold a grudge (and that's where I fall). lol

Lenna and Jinx would be so awesome together. Can't wait to see what happens. If I remember, I'll make the bio for her like I said I would like... a year ago? But a promise is a promise and I'll get that to you. For now, good-bye!

*OBSESIVE CLAPPING* I can't beleive it's over! Awesome ending. When I was reading about the part where Dark Jak was trying to bring Jak forward I was reminded of a tag team match, where like DJ was taging Jak. I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy from reading all day long.

"looking up at the stairs to see Jak emerge again, wearing his pauldrons, breastplate, gauntlets and shin pads. They shone eerily as Jak neared them, the dim lights casting a dullbronze glow upon the metal work. However, what caught Daxter and Torn’s eyes were not how creepy his armour shone. It was his determined face. His eyes were narrowed and blazing, brow furrowed deeply and mouth a thin, deadly line."

I hope I ain't askin' too much to see a picture of that. It was just so detailed and eery.

Anyway... where's Erol! He's gonna show up ain't he!?

*slaps head* can anything good happen to anyone!? Must keep reading. Even if my eyes hurt from looking at a screen all day! I swear, Monday, I'm running line sprints for an hour just to keep in shape from sitting a computer all day!

I can't beleive Sharok would do that... was it Sharok? My bet's Sharok. Well d... dang him too! o.O

It's like anything that could possibly go wrong does! Please let this next chapter have something in it that goes right! ... I can't beleive I'm cheering for Erol's survival! This story has really had an empact on me. Just to make it worse I was listening to 'Rebirth' by Skillet when he got shot! I almost cried!

Man, I ain't used to seein' Erol like this, with a heart. Man, gotta get to the end! I know it's gonna be explosive!

She go loco! Anyway, can't wait to see just how exactly Erol's gonna make this one work. I'm gonna go a head and call it a night. It's about 12:00 in the morning up here so, night!

Man, this one's intence. Just to top off the tearyness I was listenin to a sad song by KJ-52 called "After The Rain". Man, gotta see what happens next.

It's always sad when someone dies, even they deserve it. Hey, we all deserve to die, but I'm just glad God ain't like that. I'm glad He's merciful. Heh, here I go preachin'. Anyway!

Awesome chapter! Wonder what's gonna happen in the next chapter!

Humm... That Trey guy sounds gay. lol. Well, can't wait to see what happens on the big race.

lol! I loved this one! I love your comic reliefe! Well it's 11:04 a.m. here, so I'm gonna go to sleep. I'll get back where I left of tomarrow. Night!

That last bit with Light and Dark Jak arguing was pretty funny. lol. I don't really trust Ramshei right now. Guess I'll figure that one out if I KEEP READING!

BTW, we're snowed in down here so I get two days off school and get to stay home so maybe I'll be able to get done with this story either tomarro or the next day. Well see ya!

I like what there is so far and i'm intrugied. However can i suggest something? When you have dialogue have it formatted like this:
"Hey Daxter" said Jak
"Hey" Dax replied

anytime there is more than 1 person speaking have their dialogue on the next line
\"blah" jak
"blah" dax
"blah jak
etc. It makes it easier to follow and readers are less confused when reading as to who said what

That's something you deffinately don't want happening to you everyday! lol Still early in the mornin' so I'm half asleep right now.

Well we fianlly get some LJ action. Awesomeo... awesomeo? that's worse then kahooney. Oh well.