udde awasome story i was laughing my ass off
Update

Ok, this is just fuckin' hilarious. Ah man, I just love these kind of stories; makes me laugh. Oh well, good job.

man that's awesome, you should start writing again. try to have more relationship and sentimental stuff though, so far you have it in jumps, a few pages of sentiment and then a whole lot of pages of just fighting and violence and all that. It's a really good story but everything can be improved on.

I spent so much time laughing! Cake for you! Update soon! -Ultimate Puppy Eyes no Jutsu- P.S. Love the sadistic Hina-chan!

you fucker you finally come back and this is the crap you write?! this has got to be the... biggest.. load...OF AWSOMENESS ever!

anyway I took a 2 year hiatus as well (former pen name: Arurisonu Akane if you remeber correctly)

Well keep it up again

It was time to slap some serious amount of bitch.


Funny shit indeed. I love your fucking story (if it helps you update). The way you integrate your story is amazing, as well as you writing style too. i really want to see this story get to the chunnin exams as well as i see how you pull that shit off. Knowing you that will be some fucking great work.

I hope to see more of your work.

Naruto has a new skill.

Insult no Jutsu...

With Choji acting like that he should have eaten Kabuto.

You already had Naruto use Kage Bushin several chapters ago. They formed a ladder to save him when he fell from a tree. Bad Plot Hole. You should change this and make it so that he is working on something else from the scroll since he already knows Kage Bushin.

mu

It was okay at first, but there are many holes: For example, in an earlier chapter, Naruto used a ladder of Kage Bunshin to help him down while he was training in the forest with tree climbing. In this chapter, he apparently does not know it. Also, with this:

“Good job finding the demon, Iruka, but I’m afraid that I can’t let you leave. As for you Naruto, I’ll tell you a little secret,” Mizuki said with a manic look in his eyes.

“Mizuki! No don’t do it!” Iruka begged.

Naruto had already told Iruka that he knew of Kyuubi on their first meeting at Ichiraku's; therefore, Iruka would not have burst out like that.

There are various other holes and gaps in this story, including those of Naruto's skill. I also feel that there is a bit too much Sakura bashing, as she has no real reason to act so stupidly against Naruto.

Another thing - “You’re not ready yet to take me on alone, Sasuke-kun,” Kakashi said, leaving him a hint to the answer to the test. Naruto who was in some nearby bushes again plotting against the Jounin heard it and understood.

If Naruto understood, why did he act so stupidly towards the end of the test?

Long review. X_x

,

i swear if u dont finnish this story ull NEVER have kids..
boy or girl i WILL castrate you..
please and thank you :D

nose rape HA! poor doggy!

wait a second is her hair blue or purple?