This fanfic was exceptional. It was by turns funny and touching, and the balance between realism and parody was right on the mark. The characters were perfectly portrayed, and the level of detail and timing was just right. Really well written.

But the ending was disappointing. There's nothing more frustrating than suspense building up to what promises to be a flashy finish, only to have it fall flat at the last. A successful story has to have a beginning, middle and end, and this story doesn't end so much as just stop - its better than if you'd just left it at chapter 11, but there's really no resolution here.

I see you say that you prefer open-ended stories, but you ought to recall that most of your readers are more likely to feel like you've left the story unfinished than that you've left the story for them to finish on their own. Besides which, if they wanted to finish it on their own, they would be writing their own fanfic rather than reading yours - they read because they are expecting you, as the author, to tell them the story. Ending with a cliffhanger like that is basically a slap in the face to those who've taken the time to read your writing. Which is fine if that's your intention - I once read a fanfic where Snape and Hermione were in a BDSM relationship and the fic took a uturn at the end and veered off into left field, ending in a very strange and unsatisfying way, but it was okay becuase there was artisitic signifigance in the parallel between the relationship described in the story and the author/reader relationship surrounding the story. It was actually quite brilliant. I'm not sure that case really applies to your fic though. Sorry.

So yeah, in the future, figure out a solid ending for your stories and you won't have to put up with pushy haridans ranting on your reviews page. You're really talented, which is why I'm being critical - unlike those who display no story-telling talent, I'm convinced you have the ability to benefit from advice.

It was good, really confusing in the end!
I wish you'd do a sequel...

argh! i would wish for a different end of course, but the conclusion seems right :D love the bitter-sweet feel it leaves behind. well written, since you have brought this reader to feel so much for the pair!

I enjoyed the way you wrote Hermione and Snape's relationship - the odd mix of intimacy and distance, the love/hate aspect. I can really see them engaged in a battle of wits. Thanks for writing it!

Ow... That was mean!
Really good story, actually. I believe I tried reading it once before, but stopped after the first chapter, for reasons I don't remember, but I've read it all now, and it was really good. Well written. At first, I thought the story was going to turn silly, but it didn't at that was really a good thing.
The only thing I needed was a happy ending. Not that it wasn't happy, it certainly was, but when I think of a happy ending in HGSS-stories, it means that they end up together. But I fully respect the fact that that is how you percieved it. I'll just imagine a romantic kiss, a proposal, and lots of little Snapes with bushy hair, and a surly additude... Ah... there we go...

it fells unfinished. on a other hand it' a good light read.

great great story. sad ending though...and it'd be great to see it in comic strip form!

LOL XD great beginning:)

that was strange.

1

here

Melodramatically puts hand to head* Oh, you killed me... Poor Hermione and Severus... I wonder what Severus thought of the whole ordeal? did he hold some affections for Miss Granger?


Good fiction and it hurt the way you ended it. In a unknowing way... very sad indeed...

Kind of a sad ending, but I really enjoyed the downward spiral of Hermione's denial, haha. Good job!

Pretty sure it was Pascal!

This story is adorable and I'm going to finish reading it and review. I chuckled out loud a little at the snarky Snape interaction.

This chapter is hilarious! I love the dry wit you portray Snape as having. And Hermione held her own, too.

I love your style of writing. The dialogue remains witty, and its timing and flow, impeccable.

On to the next chapter ...

E.