Hey, Fiona, I know you're busy, but please don't tell me you've abandoned this story! It's too much of a cliffie! And a really good story - I like the multi-lingual stuff especially. It's hard to find authors who can write reliable (or as reliable as it's possible to have) Sindarin. Not that I'm saying the plot and characterization aren't anything, but they're so good they're not noticeable, if you understand.

Faerthurin

Did you understand what was happening? Absolutely.

Are your Mary Sue alarm bells ringing? If so, why? Just a slight chime in the distance. Jessica seems a bit nervous when I read about her. Or maybe it's just me.

What did you think of the characterization of the Elves? Very Elf-like.

Enough Sindarin already? Sort of. I kind of get tired of scrolling to the bottom of the page every time I read an Elvish phrase/word.

What do you think of the our-world plot? Fabulous. There should be more stories like this on FF. net.

Did the reactions of Ariston, Bellas, and Silivegil seem realistic to you? No question there. DEFINITELY.

Does it leave you wanting to read on? Yup. Continue updating.

What grammar or spelling mistakes did you see? Can't really answer this one, too lazy to scroll back up the page. :P

What bothered you in this chapter while reading it? Just the slight overbearing of Sindarin.

What did you like about it? EVERYTHING. :) Especially the translations. (You: Just 'cause you suck at Elvish, Wonder. Me: I know.)

WW

I know you haven't updated in a few years, but just in case the plot bunny nibbles again...

Did you understand what was happening? A lot more than the last chapter; I didn't understand that Ladrengil's mother was reading her soul to see if she was evil or not...
Are your Mary Sue alarm bells ringing? If so, why? No, this was a very un-Mary Sueish chapter. The second chapter, specifically the part with everything that touched her dying, didn't sit well with me for some reason, but this one was good.
What did you think of the characterization of the Elves? The Elves are great - Ladrengil behaves very Elvishly, and from what little I've seen of his family, they're great too.
Enough Sindarin already? It's not that bad. Maybe a little less, but it helps put me in Jessica's place.
What do you think of the our-world plot? It is an interesting side plot. I don't get the whole thing with the jacket though.
Did the reactions of Ariston, Bellas, and Silivegil seem realistic to you? Yes, except, how could Bellas reach Jessica's cheek if she was on the horse? Or wasn't she on the horse?
Does it leave you wanting to read on? Heck yes. You can't just end a story here. ;) You are honor bound to continue.
What grammar or spelling mistakes did you see? None - it was squeaky clean.
What bothered you in this chapter while reading it? Nothing in THIS chapter. It does rather irk me that Jessica didn't give the ghost the necklace back, but that's just because it's a story and I know that she should've, but a random ghost in the middle of the night demanding a necklace from me would have freaked me out too...
What did you like about it? I loved the way it was written - how it flowed and how it felt like it could actually happen, rather than just your average 14 year old girl bamfs to ME and falls in love with men/Elves usually between the ages of 40 and 40.

Did you understand what was happening? Yes, I could understand the storyline, besides what isn't ment to be understood of course! (though i have theories)

Are your Mary Sue alarm bells ringing? No mary sue that I could tell, if anything it is the opposite. There are perhaps too many reasons for this child to be depressed or a wreck. Though it does make the idea of having to see a psychiatrist belivable.

What did you think of the characterization of the Elves? Accurate from what i can tell. Mind reading though? It is probably in the book and I've just forgotten.

Enough Sindarin already? It does break up the story somewhat. Perhaps having the sindarin then the english afterwards, like this: Sen i roch odhron gîn? /This is your father’s horse?/ or something similar. Good job with the translations though, and it is good that she doesnt speak elven, nor they english.

What do you think of the our-world plot? Slightly boring compared to the middle-earth story, but that is to be expected. It is of the same quality as the rest of the story as far as writing is concerned.

Did the reactions of Ariston, Bellas, and Silivegil seem realistic to you? Yes, and I can definitly see how they would be angry at a forest-killer being brought into their home-which-happens-to-be-a-forest.

Does it leave you wanting to read on? im thir lim na cin eden siniath bo nethwen. (sorry if that didnt make sense) what translator/dictionary do you use?

What grammar or spelling mistakes did you see? None.

What bothered you in this chapter while reading it? Just not being able to read the sindarin.

What did you like about it? It is clearly going to have more story, and is not rushed. You have obviously done some research into LotR and Tolkiens languages, and have left some interesting mysteries which will keep readers coming back. (including me)

(sorry, I made a mistake, so I continue now to answer at your reviewer's guide)
Hum, like I've said, I'm a little bored with the part about our world...
Did the reactions of Ariston, Bellas, and Silivegil seem realistic to you? Yes
Does it leave you wanting to read on? Of course!!
What grammar or spelling mistakes did you see? I'm not the one who can judge you about it xD
What bothered you in this chapter while reading it? Hum perhaps the fact that I don't know if your character will be in relation with the Fellowship of the Ring.
What did you like about it? Your character, and your style :)

I really enjoy reading your story. I hope you'll write the next chapter soon.

The reviewer’s guide:

Did you understand what was happening? Yes, about 70%, but it'ms my fault, I'm not good in English!
Are your Mary Sue alarm bells ringing? If so, why? Not now but be careful :)
What did you think of the characterization of the Elves? I think the way you use to describe Elves is good, I like it.
Enough Sindarin already? A little, but it's realistic so I will not complain.
What do you think of the our-world plot? I don't understand the question, sorry :( I think you're asking about the part of the chapter about the police investigating... I'm
Did the reactions of Ariston, Bellas, and Silivegil seem realistic to you?
Does it leave you wanting to read on?
What grammar or spelling mistakes did you see?
What bothered you in this chapter while reading it?
What did you like about it?

Did you understand what was happening? yes
What do you think of the introduced characters? very good
Are your Mary Sue alarm bells ringing? If so, why? no
What did you think of the parent’s reactions? vialble
The use of foreign languages, did it work? yes but it was kinda confuzing
Does it leave you wanting to read on? yes
Did you see any grammar or spelling mistakes? 'Her face had turned a deathly grey color, as tough all of the blood had been leached out of it.'
Did anything in this chapter bother you while reading it? Not really
What did you like about it? It was very original

Did you understand what was happening? I think so
What do you think of the introduced characters? Very interesting
Is the foreshadowing good? Yes
Are your Mary Sue alarm bells ringing? If so, why? No
Does it leave you wanting to read on? yes
What do you expect to happen next? The girl get freaked out about the elf/ necklace
What parts of the prose do you think need to be improved? nothing
What grammar or spelling mistakes did you see? none
Did anything in this chapter bother you while reading it? no
What did you like about it?

I've no idea what "Mary Sue" is, but I like the story! You're clever with the different races. I don't understand about the desert island, or about why any of it is happening, but then, I don't suppose Jessica does, either.

Are you going to continue the tale? Please please do!

(I can't really offer a full review without reading the full story. This feels like the beginning of a long tale, and I'd love to read the whole lot!)

: I understood what I believe I was meant to understand =]

: The characters from the previous chapters are not hard to remember but this chapter there are many introduced at once and, especially for someone like me, it's hard to completely grasp who is saying what, etc...

: I believe it is, I'm anxious to learn about what will happen with the ancient child and what Galadriel will see in Jessica (though, I think I can assume she won't see evil but she will see the theivery and whatnot..)

: I'm somewhat like your character in a way with the "extra baggage" and the "pepperoni & cheese pizza look".. so I don't really believe off hand that she's a blatant Mary-Sue. I am having some worries with the lack of friends, the "loner" status and her special visions. With her being of Middle Eastern heritage in this Post-9/11 country I suppose I can grasp that she was estranged.. although, I lived on Long Island at the time of the attacks and I can't remember having any ill will towards Middle Eastern people. Of course this may be me being biased against the Midwest (I moved there about a year ago ): ) but I suppose people can tend to be more, well, biased in their opinions of people. I shouldn't say that though >.< . And with the special visions: they make me ask "why was she so special to have these visions and not the next child?" I'm sure, or I hope I'm sure, you can explain the phenomenon in later chapters.

: It really does! I was disappointed when chapter four ended!

: Well, I expect that the next chapter will delve more into the characters that were introduced ? I'm fearing that she'll damage one of the Mallorn trees :(

: I had a little trouble differentiating the dialogue of the newly introduced Elves. It probably isn't a fault in your writing but a handicap of mine. I sometimes get distracted when I read so.. yeah. :)

: Nothing caught my eye, it all seemed spot on to me - although, I'm terrible with grammar and I probably couldn't spot one an inch from my eyes.

: Nothing too bad, just my own difficulty knowing who was speaking :) The only other thing is just the question of how the translator thing ended up in her .. head to make her understand and speak Common.

: The best thing about this piece, in my opinion, is how you show the language barrier between Jessica and the Elves. I LOVED how you made one of the Elves speak in strained Common showing that they couldn't really understand eachother. The awkwardness felt by Jessica as the Elves spoke was wonderful and REAL, something I haven't seen in many fictions.

: I may sound like I'm full of it but, truly. In my FictionInProgress-Progress (meaning only bits are on paper, the rest is in my mind) I was planning on having the oldest of "Les Trois Porcelets" go completely evil and just seep death and kill living plants. I like your way better, though, so I suppose I'll just keep that idea implanted somewhere else :)... I don't know, I wouldn't be able to write it after reading it.

I'm odd like that...


Well,

It's been fun staying up past ungodly hours writing you a review for your wonderful story,
AliDee

In short... I can't see how you can make it more perfect...

Since you reviewed my fan fiction, I shall review yours. I don't see your character as a Mary Sue at all. Although Mary Sue's aren't my specialty.

Yes, I do understand what's happening. I love complex plot lines (best example right now that comes to mind it The Prestige).

I like the Sindarin as I am trying to teach myself the language. Where am I going to use it? No where in the real world. The sentences will also help me with the grammar for my fan fictions as I don't have time to do much more than vocabulary. I started a Westron dictionary for myself too so I can use the CORRECT names rather than the translated ones.

At first I thought she may have fallen into a coma or something like that considering she thought she was in her subconscious. Would Arda be her id, ego or superego? And I don't know much about psychology either... so... yeah.

One thing I was confused about is the translator voice. Like in Hitchiker's Guide they put a worm in your ear to act as a translator... and in some other things I've read like "The Mysterious Play" where a teen Japanese girl goes to a parallel universe version of Ancient China and somehow understands the ancient Chinese (the author said that it's the magic of the book that she reads to get to the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho (Universe of the Four Gods)). Those are some theories I find kind of beleivable.

The three characters that you have are yours, and I do not know enough about them to rush judgement. However, I would say that I would be cautious around someone that had a curse on them. It reminds me of Rogue from X-Men.

I like the way this is written, and it will no doubt help me in my future writings. The story is original and not just recite the book or movie and impress us with the small amount of writing that you actually do. This is completely your own plot. You are just borrowing the language and settings of Tolkien's works.

Here's one question: What year/age is this set in? If it doesn't matter, you don't have to answer that.

~Aoi Dragon

um... Yes I understand... Not mary sue... I love the Charaterization... reactions realistic... I love the plot... I like how time has passed... Didn't notice any mistakes... Of course I wanna read on... Nothing bothered me... I like this guide thingy... very helpful... it prevents me from rmabil;ing about my own problems like... I'M NOT GOING HOME!11 gr... sorry... anywho update soon...
Love
KAlle

your story started out a bit confusing but i like it

Nice story. Keep up the good work and update soon!