 Prince-in-Disguise 2008-06-30 . chapter 3I saw your picture on deviantART and decided to read this... It is VERY interesting, and I like how you seem to guide the characters towards the relationship you want them in. (I've seen many fics where people just dump characters together because they want them to be a couple - ouch!)
Anyway, great job with the suspense. I think this is a good story and I hope you will continue it.
:holds thumbs: |
 Theos Amneos 2005-11-19 . chapter 3...Well. I must say, this is probably the best Athrun x Lacus fic I've read so far. The pacing is exactly right and everybody seems in character (I don't think it's necessary to say that Athrun has no romantic feelings for Lacus, though; like, it's okay if he thinks she's hot, right? Generally, liking a girl without knowing her for a long time (i.e. in Kira's case, or even with him and Fllay initially) generally involves the girl being hot. So, concluding that Lacus is hot (almost all anime girls are hot, which is why we have to make this connection to justify that Lacus would be hot as a real-life equivalent), we can conclude that Athrun can be glad he's got such a hot fiance. :D:D Right?
(what I mean by that rant up there is that I like that you're taking thing slow between Lacus and Athrun, and have even thrown in a hint of Kira's admiration for Lacus because that's very in character, but it's okay to heat things up just a little bit, especially since Athrun has seen Lacus naked. (that was awsome btw. like, twenty-two thumbs up.))
I also really liked the way you had Athrun and Kira interact; they really seemed like friends, there, and Athrun's subtle way of addressing Kira's attraction to Lacus makes it very plausible for Athrun's relationship with her to develop while Kira's romantic feelings are stemmed.
And...the plot and pairing of this fic seems just perfect, to me--I always thought Lacus was a calm girl who wouldn't let anything rattle her except maybe for this, the death of her father. And the Athrun x Lacus eventual pairing...like, initially I'd almost given up watching Gundam Seed once I heard about Kira x Lacus and Athrun x Cagalli becoming canon. I'm really glad you wrote this fic.
Anyway, to show my appreciation for this fic, not only am I going to add the story to my favourites and you to my favourite author list, I am also going to go join your LxA community. Not to mention I've already left this really long review (sorry if it's too long :P). And, as a side note, I offer to be a beta-reader; mostly because English is one of my better subjects, having two English tutors for parents. I won't interfere much with your content, just grammar, 'cause I'm really in awe of your characterization and dialogue; the second flashback in this chapter (about the purple-haired children was just so...cutilarious) and the bit between Athrun and Kira I mentioned before were especially well done.
My email is solfalling. if you're interested (about the beta-ing, that is). |