this was ok, the plot was ok im just not very fond of the style, this is just a personal thing - some people prefer it. anyway one little tip thingy from me- the word ** doesnt fit some how it sounds too... harsh some how and makes you almost squerm, also ** isnt as bad but isnt good either. this is sort of personal preference again but i know lots of people who agree with me. if i sound harsh i really dont mean to be im just trying to help.

Love it, hope that they'll continue it later.