well, it looks like you haven't updated in months but this story is going on my favorites and i hope you update soon.

two of a kind that form up to be a fullhouse? doh my god foreshadowing! lol

hehe, old lady aeronautics and pain ltd... going on a trip nigga? you sure is now! lol. i like this story already. this chapter gave me an idea of how to kill kabuto in my own story. indirect thanks for the idea!

I am very much liking this story so far. Hinata/Naruto romance is almost always either corny, silly or just plain bad, but this is the second story I've encountered so far that isn't any of those things.

So, let's go over the pros. First of all, the villains thus so far are simply spectacular. Hiroshi, the man who controlled fear, was the best (my only complaint being that you didn't try to make him seem even more evil by getting him to try and rape Hinata instead of just beating her up while she was down - but that's just me, I've always preferred complete monsters over ordinary villains). You're good with your fight scenes, which is essential if you're writing a fanfic on something like Naruto, and I also love the adult humour (except where you keep going on about Hinata's bust, which I consider to be going too far). The way you're writing the developing romance between the two central characters is pleasing, often funny, sometimes a little silly, but mostly just a joy to read ("Maybe he would even put his hand on her shoulder like he had done that one time. Hinata could feel his warm touch sliding over her shoulder. Then maybe he’d…and his hands…she could feel it…and she’d… tease…" is probably my favourite section of the whole story).

Now, the cons. The most glaring one is the babysitting scene, which fails at whatever it was meant to do unless it was meant to be REALLY corny and silly. I would have thought Sakura would have more tact than to practically order the shy Hinata to feel Naruto up. That brings me on to the next point - Haruno Sakura Love Doctor is an idea that doesn't work for me. Sure, have her try to get the pair together, but please don't have her refer to Hinata as "love patient no. 2", because it's silly. Also, I have to reiterate this, we only need to be told how big Hinata's breasts are ONCE. Don't embarrass her and have her show them off in front of a public place every other chapter. And, uh Sakura and Ino ambushing her outside a shop had real comedic potential, which was ruined the moment they took her to get a "makeover" and you showed off her breasts yet again. The only bit I really laughed at in that supposedly funy scene was Temari's suggestion that she rape Naruto, which really was pure genius. Those are the glaring flaws - apart from a few minor grammatical mistakes and some scenes where Jirayia seems to teleport in out of nowhere (he is supposedly there the whole time, you just haven't told us - not that it isn't possible for a Ninja to teleport) that's all the bad I can find.

So, in the end, all I've got to say is this. If you don't get the next chapter out soon, I'll find out where your lover lives and send laser-guided swine flu to their house (believe me, it's easier than it sounds). I love this fanfic, and would absolutely love to see more. Please, please can you get the next chapter out as soon as possible?

Signed,

Mr. Suspiciously Anonymous Person

This story is what first got me hooked on fanfiction. It's a great story, complex yet not overwhelming, but please. You promised you would never start a story and not finish, yet here I have been, waiting for over a year now. Please finish this story! I loved it and I still do, but it is getting very tiring of waiting for an update. I write this message because I really enjoy this story! It's an awesome plotline and has great ideas. So please continue with the awesome-ness.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get the next chapter up soon! I love the Hinata POV (I really wish they would've done more with her in the magna and the anime@!!) and how you seem to get inside her head (or at least what I think she thinks...you know?)
Anyway, GREAT job and can't WAIT til the next installment!
GOD BLESS!
Hikari no Minerva

Whew! Just finished reading through all nine chapters today!

First off let me just say, AWESOME! This is one of the few incredible fanfictions I've read and I throughly enjoyed it.

One of the first good points I'de like to mention is how you've managed to stay true to the characters and setting of the universe. At the same time, you've showed marked progression in the relationships of the characters. You've put them in new and interesting situations and portrayed believable reactions for each of them. In addition, you've managed to capture what made Naruto so awesome, interesting fights scenes and styles.

I'm obviously a Hinata fan, but you need more than that to make an interesting love story. Once again, you've pulled this off fantastically by showing a touching story about how Hinata overcomes her insecurities without having to sacrifice who she is.

Now for a bit of unwanted critising, I had noticed a few spelling errors throughout your writing, not many actually, which I would be more than willing to help with. Also, there were one or two passages that were a bit difficult to follow or imagine. In most cases these can be fixed but simply adding a sentence or two.

Even so, an incredible story! I only wish you could publish it! ;)

First off I just wont to say that i love your stories. Next please finish this story, there are a bunch of people who would like to know what happens in the next chapters. So please finish, if not post somthing saying that you are not going to continue the story so we can give up our lost hope on a new chapter. Other than that keep writing, you have a talent for it!

OMG love it! Write more please!

I just love your stories. Could you please finish I know that life can get in the way of you writing ,but its unfair to leave us with no conclusion whatsoever. If your not going to continue at least post somthing saying so, so that we can give up lost hope on a new chapter. Other than that just keep writing, you have a talent for it.

this story is excellent, keep writing, update soon.
BB

very good story so far, maybe a little more romance for Hinata and Naruto or some more embarrasing situation. i hate to say it but a little more fluff.
keep it up
BB

omg, you really need to put up the next chapter. i can't wait for the ending

your chapters are very long. i applaud your patience in writing them.

the story is very good, but i think the title and the length of the entire thing is the reason why not many people read it. there are only nine chapters, but each chapter could be at least 3-4 chapters already. multiply that and you should have had 36 by now. some people decide to read some fics by the number of chapters, the longer, the better, and i initially didn't want to read it myself because it only had 9.

the story is great, the characterization of the characters is wonderful (to say the least, this was the most realistic i ever saw) and all i can say is IT'S GREAT!


(don't you dare put this thing on hiatus.)

Yay, finally a story with action and a steady character development for Hinata and Naruto. I like how you're going with this. *applause*