this story suck

Ron is indeed lucky to have Bonnie and Tara.

I really enjoy your action/psychological writing, along with Love Robin's. You rock, girl!

its really good, well done. maybe it would have been better in chapters but still really good. i hope theres more to it

amazing simply amazing story! i really like the way this story is going, though i think it dosent need to be rated M it dosent really describe much, anyways really cool story hope there is more too it keep up the good work and update soon! peace!

Hi! This is a good story Alice Shade! Is this the end of the story? I hope not because it's excellent! Even if no one else reviews I enjoyed it! So please update soon!

This is good. Some slack in the connecting paragraphs, but overall, good. The mystery of Kim is good, is she changing? or just more apparent when she loses her backup(Ron). Please, update.

thanks

very different and interestnig. i really liked it except for three things. 1: Several misspellings 2: Ron was out of character 3: Kim was out of character. Other than that, it was pretty good

something to drool over...definetly

a few grammatical errors, but I tend to write worse

needs a little lemon, but is great without alot of it

cool yo

... but just a little bit to long...

Um...

Some spelling errors but it was good, keep it up!

Well, this was femslash, so OMGYAY! And LONG. Yay, again. :D

There were a few grammar/formatting errors, eg. the unnecessary dash before quotation marks, some tense changing in the first part, and I'd recommend being more careful with Word's spellcheck and/or finding a beta who knows what they're doing. I won't go through and point out every little thing. Of course...your fic is far from horrible compared to certain other stuff I've seen on this site.

I do think you've thoroughly demonized Kim-where is the evidence she's homophobic, she'd probably try to be politically correct even if personally squicked, and she's certainly not as horrible as you portrayed her here-and Sued Bonnie by giving her a speshul talent she doesn't possess in canon, having her befriend Ron, and generally being an all-round nice girl in contrast to OMGHOMOPHOBICBITCH!Kim. I also think that the change in Ron's personality was not...necessary, for want of a better word. Nice clothes and "coolness" shouldn't indicate virtue, IMO, and the most important friends are those who don't mind one's personal dress sense. Also, Ron's nonviolence is A Good Thing, again, IMO. BTW, Ron's generally characterised as being clumsy canonwise, and you showed no hint of that even when you could've. Aside from Tara, I think this is "character rape", though aside from Kim it's flattering to the characters. Of course it's possible to develop characters, but I don't feel you were convincing in your sudden changes from canon characterisation. (Eg. Kim had had a bad experience with lesbianism and that explained her prejudice.) Overall, though, I did sympathise with Bonnie and Tara, despite the former's uncanonical characterisation, and I do think you have writing talent. :) This is a Really Nice femslash. (Too bad you had to have the two females get together to character-rape Ron.)

But anyway, I'll end this by squeeing again: femslash, yay! Go you! (My email is on my profile page if you want to respond to some of my crit.)

A very interesting story. I do believe that there is more to tell from it. Some ideas have occured to me during the reading. There were some spelling issues, but that happens to us all.

Hi, i'd say with the 'F' word featuring a couple of times and the bi-sexual theme running through out that a slightly higher rating would be good :)

I love your story and think a sequel is in order.