A nice little piece. Very descriptive, I could visualise everything! Well done!

FORGET ABOUT THIS SILLY STORY AND UPDATE "Through a Child's Eyes".

I loved it. But you made one tiny mistake. Her love is NOT Motoki! It is MAMORU! Darien Shields! Prince Endymion! Whatever you want to call him! Just don't call him Andrew or the Arcade Guy! That's Mamoru's best friend! Besides, how could Andrew/Motoki protect her? Sure, he knows she's a Senshi, but he's not one-or a Tuxedo Karmen/Mask-himself. So what could he do? Basically, this all summarizes to say that you put down Motoki as the guy she loved and could protect her when that is actually the guy's best friend! The real guy who she loves and could protect her is MAMORU. Okay?

Sorry bout that. Great story though. But what were those voices inside her? I didn't get that.

There were a couple of grammatical errors, but nothing big.

God bless you and KEEP WRITING!

i think it's adorable! good work. i would never have thought so much could go through the transformation. make more! :D

great work ... ik liked it ..but i'm not sure about wich transform it is

wel go on ... with this work ..

it's really good. cool how you came up with this! i never would have.