I liked it,were's the rest?LOL!

I like it! I read the other one first, but I don't suppose it matters which one...this is a one-shot, right? Anyway. You've captured Jacqueline very well, and you're giving her character the extra polish it needs to be INTERESTING. I realise PAX has only shown two episodes, but I'm dismayed they've put so little effort into letting us get to know the characters. Do continue, you're doing a better job than the network and you've got a great writing style!
Foggy

Hiya! I've been watching the new PAX show and the concept/plot is wonderful, but the lack of character depth... Well, let's just say I'm praying for good fan fic authors to pick it up. So far, this is an excellant beginning. I do hope you continue this story, or post more under this genre!
-JB-

good so far. UPDATE!

This was great. I've been watching the show and the only thing i don't like is the lack of depth into the characters, so i really liked this because it's more insight than the show gives. Well done and i'd love to read more.