I am resubmitting my origianl review, not at the request of the author, but more out of courtsy and to be more "constructive and helpful". Okay, first off, I will say that this fic IS too short. There are some fics that I've read just as short at yours, but the story worked. This is just a clip of a story (maybe a preview?). But, so as not to be picky on technical grammar or spelling, just capitalize the fist letter of sentences, but periods where they should end, and also break up dialog from longer parts that are just narraration, it helps the reader like what you wrote in the long run. The way you space and compose your writing is just as important as what you write.
Good luck in the Eva universe, but (dont take this part personal) please dont just post something that you could've written in class one day. I've told many ppl this, mainly because ppl who do this are lazy writers, they could improve and expand on what they came up with. I havent read your other story, but I'll check it out. Hope t his ones more helpful to you.

O. That was great!! Can't wait to see what happens next!! ^-^
One little thing...you spelt destiny wrong. ^-^

that was really gd, its so like him

Take this off. It's a waste of space. It looks like it took you longer to write your authors note than it did for you to actually write your "fic". Also, reading your story before you submit is a great idea. It helps eliminate spelling and grammar mistakes. Oh, and since this is your first fan fic, I'll let you know something. Dont write a second until you've grasped writing in general.