|Reviews for Crimson Rose|
| Kasan Soulblade 3/28/05 . chapter 1
Well this is interesting.. I'd never imagine Raine to be so acurate when it comes to grasping emotions. I always perceived her to be rather distant from them, but she isn't really. Well at least this fic proves that she isn't. Using Raine as your "voice" you grasp at something so primal and turn it into... well into a bunch of great analogies(sp). Your grasp on sympbolism is great, you say a great deal, but you also don't say some things, you let the reader pick up thier own ideas from your fic. That's perhaps the most admirale trait in this piece. Reading this is much lke reading a journal, your grasp is so well that I could imagine Raine writing a journal, and I'd expect it to look like this. (exluding sections that she wrote while in "ruin mode" of course lol) Good job, I'll be keeping an eye open for other pieces.
| Rose-Wisteria 2/11/05 . chapter 1
Hm... nice touch with the flowers and everything. Really nice touch, I like it a lot even without the *cough* romance *cough*. Excellent, really well done... short... but well done.
Advice? For one thing, I don't think Raine would have said "ugly"... I just couldn't imagine the woman to say such a word in any circumstances but it's probably my opinion. You could have develop more information as well for this seem too... short. I don't know... I just think you could add more details to it. Lastly, the name is just too plain. The word "crimson" have been used an awful lot and with rose, it just makes it even more competitive to me. Just my opinion though, don't mind me. Keep writing.
| ObviousMan 2/10/05 . chapter 1
"A pink rose, on the other hand, is all about passion. If you look the word 'passion' up in a thesaurus, you will find that its meanings are rather bland. Passion comes from an infatuation, or an obsession… Could it also be called "Puppy Love"? The color pink is a beautiful color, though rarely seen in nature. Sometimes I wonder if passion has anything to do with love."
I think you could have said a bit more in this paragraph than you did. It seems you only lightly touched on each of the different points you made. It almost appears as if you wrote it in a rush.
If you really want a frank critique, you seem to have written much of this work in a rush. Very light detail, and the story simply seems to flow too quickly. Slow it down; either add more detail or cut back on the nonessentials. Other than that, it seems to be a decent work. X (harsh appraisal)
| Nameless 2/10/05 . chapter 1
Ouch. All right, I'll try some detail, but I'm not making any promises on how'll good it'll be.
Raine seemed very much in-character to me. I can easily picture Raine musing on something such as flowers as the group travels through, say, a forest or a meadow. Except for maybe Kratos or Regal, or Sheena on a good day, I doubt that it'd be easy to have an in-depth conversation with the others. Not that the others are shallow, just must of the time very light spirited.
As for the bad - well, how does Raine know all this? Where did she learn it from? When is she thinking all this? A bit more background would make the fic seem a bit more grounded. And that's all I really have to say.
Besides that I like this, that is.
| Story Weaver1 2/10/05 . chapter 1
Beautifully done. Comparing each type of rose to emotion was very good, and even better from Raine's point of view. My favoritepart was comparing the life of a rose to love's effects on people.
| rice8369 2/10/05 . chapter 1
wow! i love how you described about roses
| Seventh Sage 2/10/05 . chapter 1
Oh, this is quite interesting. The idea is good, and nicely tied in with Raine's title.
Hm, you're right, it IS a slight bit OOC. It doesn't sound entirely like Raine's dialect. But the idea itself does sound like something she'd be considering.
About the word-choice... Just a few that jumps out as a bit out of place, that I don't think Raine would actually use:
Also, for the yellow rose... You said that it was a sign of friendship, and immediately after said the "friendly" color, and then "friends" again - the word is used just a slight bit too much too close together.
Another thing, "light that emits from the sun" doesn't sound right. Emits means "gives out", I believe? So it should probably be "light that the sun emits". I may be wrong, though, in which case I apologize.
| Ilvinaeda 2/9/05 . chapter 1
A beautiful one-shot. I think it's somewhere between poetry and prose in several ways...especially in this fic. My comments below.
1) The lack of any actual character makes this fic interesting. It could be said that many characters could be narrating this...although since I read your other fic first...I'd say it's Raine. But it could also be Sheena, Presea, Regal, even a slightly darker side of Colette, a much darker and softer side of Zelos, or maybe Genis having one of those "moments of revelation." I guess even an older, more mature Lloyd could say that about flowers...and that's what makes it like poetry, I think. The reader is left to decide whose POV it is from, and make their interpretations from there.
2) The descriptions of the colors are quite interesting...I learned something about flowers today! And yeah...the descriptions of the colors' significance makes the fic simply wonderful. Don't know how else to say it...
3) Flowers and people...a most interesting contrast. I think that in many ways, they are like people, with a lifespan that has been shrunk down to a matter of days. The difference, I feel, though, is that while flowers die at the height of their beauty and maturity, most people reach that, and then die slowly, becoming more miserable and less beautiful over the last span of their lives, before completing the cycle at death. I think it would be beautiful if we were more like flowers...serene, beautiful, and passive, with lifespans just long enough to enjoy before passing on, leaving nothing but beautiful thoughts and memories behind...
4) I think that the part where you say that "white is the absence of color" is the most strange conundrum to me. In pigment, it is the absence of color, while in light, it is all the colors...I think that by contrasting it to its more negative side, it feels as if the narrator is feeling down, and probably either saddened or depressed. Maybe that's why I feel also it could be most likely Raine, Sheena, Presea, or Regal. The others seem not to be bothered enough by negative thoughts to give such insight as to a singular example.
5) Cheer up, KK. The writings are good, and if I need to tell you so many many more times, they are good, really good. The criticism that I could offer most strongly is to continue. Even if they are a bunch of words from a singular opinion, take it for what it is. I don't disagree that your writing could be better, but it is much better than what I've been reading in your absence, waiting for another posting. Many writers come to these points, and wonder inwardly what people really think...and let me say this: if your writing was that bad, most people wouldn't bother to review. The fact that you have some reviews tells me, more than anything, that people have read your stories and enjoyed them. And for that I am most glad. Just keep writing. Keep writing, and dont worry...if it starts getting really bad, I'll tell you.
6) Keep going! Think happy thoughts, and take a break once in a while, even if it's just to enjoy life for a few good moments. _ And don't forget to write afterwards!
| angel white 2/9/05 . chapter 1
It does sound like a prologue. And I will good job you until - oh.
Hmm. I suppose it can be something like her thoughts about snowflakes, if you saw any of her conversations with Lloyd, and how he changed her. Sometimes it's hard to tell with first povs because.. what someone would write on a page is different from what they'd actually say. Or thoughts that she'd have to herself, for instance.
It's pretty writing. The indepth-ness of it does seem very Raine-like.
Now stop with the oneshots and work on your fic, damn it :P