its good, the only thing that doesn't add up is him having the hook. I mean he could have easily gotten one, but it is really distinguished in the movie when he takes it after berry threatens max

Interesting. Catch ya on the flip side.

"but then she was gone, like a comet crossing the night sky"

the similes you used add a lot of imagery to the storyline. It's a little gruesome "and wiped the remaining blood from the hook that he had stabbed inside of David" but then again, so is the original movie.

I dont understand why David wouldn't try to run or fight Ben.

But it's a good concept of a scene for the movie, or a sequal to the movie. Maybe more of a struggle between the two would add interest.

Did he use a hook? I thought he heard it from Barry, Helen, Julie, and Ray when they were telling that ghost story and he heard them talking about it. And then he later used a hook.

But, either way, pretty good story you have here. _