 ComicXArena 2009-06-10 . chapter 2I don't think Braska's the 100th summoner to defeat Sin. In the game, it's said that there are only 4 high summoners so i think he's only the 4th... Ask the old man in the Besaid temple at the start of the game, first guy to the left. |
 FADMHood 2008-10-17 . chapter 4this has to be one of the most interesting things i have read! |
 labrat-seph 2008-04-27 . chapter 18*jumping up and down like an idiot* Hey Ryan, guess what~! Since I was so far behind in my readings of book two, I decided it would be best for me to go back and read book one! XD A task that took about three days no less~!! *shakes fist jokingly* Damn you and your need to write so much descriptive-ness!! *laughs* Alright, alright, I think I had enough fun with that.
Oh, as I was reading it I noticed that one of the previous gods already mentioned that the ice god would in fact be a goddess to one of the two *already forgot if it was to Andy or Matt* and those three always keep referring to her as a male... *shrug* doesn't really matter I suppose.
Huh, come to think of it, I honestly don't remember what happened to JD? or was it JP...? *shrug* I have bad memory... Anyway, maybe it's explained in the second of the three; guess I'll have to start reading that tomorri, or later, as it is already 1:30-ish in the am hours and my alarm will go off in another three hours...
Umm, of course there was more I was supposed to say but it escapes me now. Oh! Should I go back and re-read it a third time to fix some of the errors I found during this read??
If you find the time to, IM me via AIM. My new sn is SakuraSeru. Well, for now I must depart and rest, especially if my parents were serious about going to a theme park later... Lates for now and I do hope to hear from ya eventually~! ^,^
~Seru (yes, i have changed my name~! XD;) |
 Virulentous 2007-12-20 . chapter 1Woah,long chapters, nice plot, good detail.
You have made the Favs. |
 Omega Gilgamesh 2007-10-14 . chapter 5Did O'aka mention 'Soa'? As in the God alluded to in Legend of Dragoon? |
 LadyoftheDrow 2007-08-04 . chapter 10um, just a note on this chapter, you misspelled bastard when Ryan said it in Al Bhed, it's Pycdynt not Pcydynt. you switched the S and the A around.
Nice story so far from what I've read.
~*~LOTD |
 G-Anakin13 2006-08-04 . chapter 18Great Story |
 Deviate Fish 2006-02-13 . chapter 18The fuck...? |
 Omega Gilgamesh 2006-02-13 . chapter 18Well, so I'm the first to figure those out, eh? Anyways, one thing I've forgotten to mention is the reason why I haven't been 'critiqueing' your work very much so far. The reason is because I don't do that when the story's already written, because most authors (those 'worthy' of being called that, in my eyes) get better over time. Looking back to my first fanfic, Duel of Fates, I can't help but slap myself for how bad it was, especially compaired to my skill now. So what's the point of pointing out what was bad way back then? When I find a story that's way, way far along, I don't critique the early stuff, and wait until I get up to where you currently are in writting skill and knowledge before saying what you can do better. So don't worry, your time WILL come. *maniactical laugh insues*
*reads a little more*
What? No Bushonics? Damn! I mean, I can understand how hard it would be to imitate, but...ah, forget it.
*Bushonics=Bush Phonics*
Well anyways, this epilogue kinda went downhill. I know you said they got cocky later on, but that doesn't account for irresponcibility. The need for vengeance that Ryan exibited in this chapter kinda made me lose respect for him a little.
Well anyways, on to the next book. |
 Deviate Fish 2006-02-12 . chapter 1Meh. W/e... |
 Omega Gilgamesh 2006-02-12 . chapter 16Pretty cool. I forgot to mention that I recognized the fire starter gloves from Full Metal Alchemist, and the fist blades from Naruto as well. Speaking of Naruto, I've been wondering, how did you know the hand signs for Chidori? I've seen several sites that show the hand signs, but never any that shows the hand signs for jutsus. If you found that off of a website instead of watching the show, I'd like to know what site that was. |
 Omega Gilgamesh 2006-02-07 . chapter 15Okay, to clarrify my last review, was there any reason why Lusniec was gay? That just seemed a little random, didn't relate to anything else in the story as far as I could see. So why was he gay? |
 Omega Gilgamesh 2006-02-07 . chapter 14O...kay, was there a reason at all for Lusniec being...that way? Any reason at all except for everyone to make fun of him? |
 Omega Gilgamesh 2006-02-06 . chapter 12Intelligent question: Why would the Maesters fear the elemental gods? From everything that I've seen, other than Seymour and possibly Kinoc, the Maester are apparently sincere in their desire to do what's best for Spira, as is shown by Mika's reaction to Yunalesca's death. Sure, they use dishonorable methods, but those tend to be the most effective. He didn't talk about the fall of Yevon or any of that, he only spoke of how Spira will die, and that he truely believed the final summoning to be the only way to defeat sin, if only for a time. So why would they fear the return of the gods? Okay this is taking up too much space, if you want to continue this discussion, E-mail me.
Okay, the language is getting kinda vulgar on this chapter. I consider the F-word twice on a chapter to be the limit of a T rating. Just be careful of it in the future, 'kay? Most people are okay with it, but all it takes is one offended reader who knows how to use the "Report Possible Abuse" function, and a moderator who agrees to get you kicked off the site AND blacklisted! (note: I'm not sure if the blacklisting part is still around or not. It was there when I first signed up.)
I'd have to kind of disagree with Ryan explaining to Seymour how he got Kaze. "Never let your enemy see your weapons". Kinda indirect, but still accurate. Leave Seymour in the dark, since one fears what one doesn't understand, right?
One thing I've seen a couple of times, the 'woozy-head, seeing-multiple-versions-of-someone' thing. That happens because your eyes don't focus on things at the same angles, double vision. Two eyes, double vision, so triple and quadruple vision isn't possible. Just in case you didn't know, since from what I've read, those points didn't seem like jokes.
So you were saying something about when your harsh review will come up. The thing is, I try to be constructively critical when I can (I've made exceptions for those that were just plain terrible, which Broken Alliance was NOT, FYI), but often, I end up being more insulting than I intend. Kinda hard to be good with words when you're a loner and autistic, y'know? |
 Omega Gilgamesh 2006-02-06 . chapter 11For your question about my last review, I have very high standards for action writing, so just getting something along the lines of 'the action was okay' from me is an above par complement, particularly since I consider action to be my forte. Check out Duel of Fates Redux (my fic) or Final Fantasy VII: In Bits by Hobllade for what I consider to be good action (at least the final battle in my fanfic really meets my own self-imposed standards).
Anyways, as for this fic, the exposure of the 'sacrifice' part was a little...under climactic, you didn't narrate how your OCs felt when Rikku explained what the Final Aeon did. If you're thinking they had their minds elsewhere or something because of the battle, I'd disagree with you on that. I think the stress of the situation would've heightened their reactions to this revelation. I think Tidus's reaction was somewhat accurate (minus the bad acting and the ramblings). One thing I've been meaning to mention for a while is that, this is kinda common, is that your characters talk a lot during fights. Exchanging witty banter during a fight is a bad idea, as you don't want to lose focus AT ALL! That's when the enemy will strike, when you're distracted.
The God's names are Al Bhed? (looks on my Al Bhed Translator on my Favorites list) HAHA, you got them backwards! Instead of from English to Al Bhed, you did Al Bhed to English! Dnortih and Lusniec should be Drihtan and Selraym. Still, I never saw that coming. |
|