lol good story

that was very good. you had me continuously reading more and more, not just because of the sex thing, but you made them seem so normal by having them being nervous. i felt that this a very interesting read. there were only 2 parts that needed working on:
1. English (spelling and grammar)
2. Ending...there needs to be a 2nd part to this. i was so mad when it ended lol.

"Oh, **" XD

It was great!


hikaru!

the ending is so funny! water ballons? Ha ha!

You English is actually pretty good.

Your title needs to be capitalized, though.

"It Doesn't Change a Thing"

Cute story, and you know, I'm glad you wrote it this way. Of course their first time wouldn't be all sparkles and rainbows. Both of them are inexperienced and unsure of themselves. :) Good work.

Aw I like it! Good job! =D

Wow, I'm definitely impressed. A lot of the fics on this site that are written by people who speak English as their first language aren't as good as a writer as you are. If you didn't put that at the end I would've had no idea. Anyway great work, I loved the ending, it was so funny and you can tell what might happen... lol. So great job!

I think this was a pretty funny story. It's nice that you made a G/V story. I don't see many of those. well I hope you Mke another one soon so I can read it. Keep up the good work!

lmao! what a horrible situation to be in! @o@ lol! but I love it, hahaha! It had it's sweet moments too, and you know how I like my sugaryness ^_~ good job! it wasn't bad at all, girl!

Great fic, English is not my native language eighther, but you did a great job, BTW, WHY DID YOU MADE GOHAN SMALL? O_o and make a chapter 2!! That'll be one hell of a chapter!

good story

I love it! You did a great job. I think that the best was the dialogues... Congratulations!!

I thought this was really good. I appreciate the fact that their first time wasn't perfect. I get sick of these stories that have two people who are virgins having a great first time. No awkwardness, no 'what should I do now' thoughts, just perfection. How realistic is that?

And English isn’t your first language? I am impressed, you only made a few errors regarding word tense, but that seems to be a problem even with native English writers :)

That was good. I liked it. The ending was pretty funny too, just as you tried to make it be ^^

Sincerely,

Jessi-chan

Hi Noryale!

So, I'm going to act as a true fan of your work, but instead of asking you to continue this, I'm going to do it another way. here it goes:

MAKE A SEQUEL SOON!

Okay? Good! Don't forget the promise! I'll be waiting!!

Love,
the crazy Frederica