that was the shit dude that was so awsome ...but in the excitement I pissed my self (.y.) lol

I think Gohan and GOku should only fight in chapters 5-8, enough is enough. the point is takin from there, Gohan is angry at Goku, fine. Quite frankly it would be incredible dull to have Gohan and Goku fight anymore.

I think Gohan and GOku should only fight in chapters 5-8, enough is enough. the point is takin from there, Gohan is angry at Goku, fine. Quite frankly it would be incredible dull to have Gohan and Goku fight anymore.

omg! how could gohan betray them like that! god what the hell is wrong with him! o well...thank god it's just a fanfic...*sigh* whew. lol great job great chapter. goku was NOT ooc in that! it was cute! lol keep up the excellent work

update

interesting. Keep it up.

So you finally started documenting the dates you posted chapters XD You'll enjoy that in the end. In the future, I mean, when you can look back at when you posted everything. its a good habit.

Good chapter, nice father/son moment. You wrote Goten's dilemma perfectly.. how he didn't want to say, but at the same time he did, and he went along with Babidi's orders. However, i think you delved into his protective nature a little too much. I realize it is a little hard to find a character set for Gohan - between good and evil, but I think, for now, it would be best to show him becoming more and more evil... that's he's slipping with every passing moment, becoming more and more Babidi's slave. In the end, if you can make him almost like a Darth Vader figure - so incredibly deeply in the darkness that even he believes it is impossible to pull himself out, it makes the fact that he can be saved even more dramatic, that it is hard, but it's doable. I think it'd be better if you wrote him as more and more evil, so the contrast is greater. Otherwise, if you keep writing his protective nature, it will deduct from the whole drama of that plot turning point in the far future. Sometimes, it's better to think ahead and figure what kind of feelings you'd like to evoke from both the characters and readers.

Also, feel free to use any of my ideas. If I suggest the idea, it means I have absolutely no problem with you using them : ) I constantly have ideas. My imagination is constantly running, and it feels good to know that I'm able to give an idea or two to you, to help you out with your story. I have a whole heck more from where that came from XD

Great chapteR! Wow, you got it out fast! XD

Laura

That was an excellent chapter! But now I can't wait for the next one...as usual! I want to see what happens when Gohan, Babidi and Buu arrive at the lookout! And Vegeta too!

What's going to happen? Oh, this is so cool! Please update soon!

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finally introducing Videl into the main storyline... i mean, as a romantic interest, I see. To tell the truth, she had completely slipped my mind regarding ways to bring Gohan back, though it does make sense now. I think however Videl should not be the principal reason. You should trow something else in there, like, for example, he sees Goku's time is up, and he's leaving, and watches Goten's reaction, and then gets this shock inside him, this incredible flashback of himself younger, having to say goodbye to his father. And Videl can of course be the catalyst, the icing to the cake. But you need something else, too. Otherwise, I just don't believe that Videl alone can bring him out of Babidi's spell. Otherwise, Trunks should have been able to help Vegeta come out of the Majin spell.

You know what would be a good idea... you say there can be another Gohan/Veg fight... but how about this (putting creative juices together): Vegeta actually wins. He beats Gohan to a pulp, and he's about to kill him, saying the only way to save him is to put him out of his misery, and you can have Goten, who had been hurt before (the reason why Veg woud have jumped in), come in front of Gohan, blocking Vegeta because even though Gohoan is evil, he still loves his brother more than anything, and although that's not the principal reason why Gohan turns back, it can help him remember what it is to love, no matter what the cost. I think he needs a chain of events to happen, to bring him back.

Think about it. It's not that bad of an idea. I like where your story is going : ) I look forward to another update whenever you get the chance : )

can't wait till the next chapter! Unexpected Majin ga suki desu :D

lol update soon?

It will be interesting to see how strong Gohan gets after fighting Buu.

NI! That was a good chapter. What ARE you going to do with Gohan? Don't make this a sad ending.

You updated! And a brilliant one at that too, I'll admit I was worried it might be lost, but I couldn't believe it when I saw the date after checking my faves.