huh? Wooh there slow down. You have too many new things, names, places, events going on that it is confusing. I could be held for just being slow witted. But all this new stuff bogs and slows down the story. Making it hard to read and understand. I would suggest doing an Intro first. and then slowly introducting the charaters. Running with them for a while and then going on to the next thing. This is not a flame just some critizum. Hey i make the same mistakes too so you're not alone.

PS: I can not spell even though i tried.

Great story. Can't wait for it to be updated.

An update! Yay!
Nice battle scene you did there, I had to laugh at Quina ingesting a fire imp.
We still have Suhilin following Freya and her companions. When is he going to talk to Freya and Crimson?
Good stuff. I hope you update soon. Thanks for you reviews on Burmecian Chronicles too. Are you going to look at the later parts of the trilogy?

Well, Lira and Freya don't seem to have got off on the right foot. I did wonder why Freya was so threatening when she stopped Lira from attacking Crimson though.
It was an interesting conversation between Freya and Crimson once again, although I don't like the thought of the two together as a couple. Surely the mental link would not stop romance between them and other people. Also, is there a way to break the link?
Also, I couldn't tell who was talking in the last paragraph. Was it Fratley?
This is getting good though, I really hope you update sometime in the near future. I also look forward to seeing your comments on my story when you get round to reading it.

I could understand why Fratley and Lira think Freya is a ghost, but I don't understand why attacking a ghost would make matters better. Doesn't Lira know that you can't kill someone who is already dead? I would think the fact she can feel Freya's flesh would make her think somehow that Freya is living, breathing, and alive.
I'm surprised Freya didn't say or shout anything, and that Fratley would just watch Lira assault Freya. Why didn't he step in? I can't wait until Crimson gets to the scene.
I also recognise the first few paragraphs of this chapter, they're exactly the same as the opening to "Not Without A Fight".
Moving on to chapter 12...

That was an interesting read, Freya and Fratley meet each other in their dreams. I was waiting to see what Freya's reaction to Fratley's marriage would be, and I'm surprised to see what it was. I thought she would have reacted more.
Freya now puts herself in some danger by trying to enter the gate. This is getting interesting.
Moving on to chapter 11...

That was a pretty good chapter. Both Freya and Crimson share their admiration for each other in an honourable way. I also liked how Crimson cared little about his wounds, although I wonder how he find life without a wing?
Good stuff, moving on.

Well, we have an outline of the plan of our crew. Nice to see a chapter devoted to them instead of Freya and Crimson this time, although you did pick your time to do it.
I found this chapter pretty dull, there wasn't much activity. Hopefully there will be more in the next chapter.
Good stuff, moving on.

That was a weird two chapters, Freya and Crimson have "merged"? I feel this will need some further explanation. At least they survived their crash onto the shore.
Nice to see you have included more description on your dragon clans, as well as two new dragon characters. So they saved Freya and Crimson? I'm sure we'll find out exactly why soon enough. I wonder what Freya and Crimson will make
of them...
Good stuff, moving on.

Interesting chapter, nice to see Freya and Crimson are safe, despite the fact they are going to be hit by a storm. There was some interesting thought and dialogue in this chapter although it would be nice to see what the others are doing in
their absence. Although you may have already included them in your next chapter. I don't see anything wrong with this chapter, although I feel I don't fully understand all the abbreaviations.
Good stuff, moving on.

Oh dear, Freya and Crimson are seperated from the group. The last paragraph did confuse me slightly, I found it difficult to picture in my mind, you could have worded it better. Just where did Freya and Crimson fall into?
Also, the apparent scene change confused me, you could have made it more obvious, you seemed to switch between a contract signing and Freya and Crimson without warning or any hint of a scene change.
It was a good chapter though, and I ended up learning a lot more about Crimson. Seems that him and Freya have become quite the friendly pair.
Nice to see you added some history in chapter 3. It's good to know my comments are aprreciated!
Good stuff, moving onto chapter 5...

This was an interesting chapter. We finally learn a little more about the scenario and how they have ended up out of Gaia. Although I wished you would've explained about the world they are in and what Kuja wants with Aeron instead of skipping it.
I loved the fight scene between Crimson and Freya, even if it was only brief. Crimson seems to remind me much of Amarant, although I know very little about him. Perhaps Freya will help us find out more?
Good stuff though, moving on.

Out of the two main stories you have posted here, this sounds the most promising, despite the fact I have no idea where we are or anything about the characters, although it works because the FF9 crew don't either.
It looks as though Zidane will be meeting Freya and co. soon enough, it's going to be interesting to see what happens.
Good stuff, moving on.

The opening to this story began in almost the same way to Pandora's Cauldron. Was there a reason for that?
This is another wierd story though, although at least there are some character's I'm familar with, and it looks as though the others will explain themselves soon enough.
This is an interesting story though, and a weird take on the events at Desert Palace. Good stuff, moving on.