The first person style is so effective in this. I loved it.

There's not much I can say to crit, except that vise-grip I think should be vice-grip.

*_* Agh. The crack in the wall! It breaks my heart.

As I said at , this truly is an excellent story. I love it, even though the girls aren't in it! You've captured a very emotional time very well, and you've expressed it with an expertise matched by very few. Truly, you deserve the highest praise I can give you.