 Megan 3/18/01 . chapter 1 Um, not bad. Certain things need redoing, though. Why are they talking in normal slang and discussing normal desserts? There are no kingdoms now made up of people with the last names of the horiscope. Also, why did she just randomly choose that last guy? Because she was running out of suitors and he was the best one? I mean, it didn't leave much for romance. Just a couple of suggestions... |