I have no idea why ff didn't notify me of a new chapter, but I'm very happy for this update of yours. Welcome back!

You've given Da-kvardi/Paya quite a wrathful presence, and I'm so curious to see how her machinations will play out, especially with Escthta.

Without a doubt this is some of the best writing, grammar structure...well just everything. I consider myself a fairly good writer, as I only use this site for practice when I have a block in writing my real work; but I must say that you seem to have a gift for describing detail without going overboard. It is so finely balanced. I would give examples, but the whole story is nothing short of perfect detail. Everything from a characters thoughts, to actions, to scenery; it's all there in finely tuned parcels of cohesive imagery that one can only be in awe of. I can honestly say that this piece of work is an absolute pleasure to read and while the story may have less action than either of the movies, it is most definitely a revealing insight into the world of the Yautja. I have never said this to anyone on this site before, but this story of yours is an indisputable masterpiece.

Very engaging story (I read it all in one go) and definitely the most well-written I've seen within this particular fandom!

However, I'm honestly quite puzzled and disturbed by the sudden restructuring of your plot. I've taken a day to try and order my thoughts so I can offer some (hopefully) constructive criticism:

First of all, you have (well, *had*) a duo protagonist dynamic--even spending an equal amount of time developing the perspective and back-story of each (with unresolved sexual tension to boot!). And for the percentage of your readership who thus balked at the sudden exit of Anise, this is probably one of the main reasons why. But, at least from what I've inferred from your recent author notes, it seems you intended for Escthta to be the lone protagonist and Anise the disposable sidekick? This leads me to believe a failing between goal and execution occurred.

Secondly, while I respect your desire to follow the three act dramatic structure, I'm not sure the narrative (and the timing) thus far fits it very nicely. This issue is only compounded by point #1. The duo-protagonist trope certainly allows for one or both of the pair to die at the end, but, off the top of my head, I can't think of one example where you have one of the main protagonists exiting the narrative when there's still apparently a great deal of story to go? It's kind of like you just killed Scully, even though Mulder has a few more seasons to go...

I hope you find this helpful in some small way (and not too blunt or charged).

Thank you for sharing the fruit of your craft!


-AZ

Boy, how long has it been since you updated? Hee hee, I probably shouldn't talk since it took me a long while to finish the last chapter of one of my stories.

The powers that the Matriarch has surprised me, I think mostly because I'm use to seeing Paya as more of an idol than a living breathing goddess. I think it would have been more humiliating for Kvarye if his belt suddenly unbuckled and down went his loins. :D

But my favourite part would have to go to the cave event with the residual ritual, mostly because it gives a glimpse of ancient Yautja reldion and culture. I find it enjoyable to make up a detailed history with a person or race when I'm writing, it gives the literature more individuality.

This has been in the back of my mind, Escthta was probably sent to those mountains for a reason and I'll bet he's going to find more hidden secrets up there. I can't wait to read more about them, good luck with finding your dream job!

I'll admit I was a little upset when she died but all in all it is a great story and one that I enjoy reading. But I hope you can continue to write on this if it has not been finished and good luck finding a job.

Yipee, an update. Thank you.<3
What I really like about your writing is your love to detail, like telling so much about the goldsmiths work and his musings. It seems not necessary for the overall plot but this is what brings deepness to the story. I hope you find time for more frequently updates despite your search for employment. Good luck with it.

I've read this story some time ago, and so far it has been one of the best out there and one of my all time favorites. It goes into their society which is why I like to read fiction about otherworldly creatures...their societies. I had wished to know what would happened next after all this time. Happy dancing that this one will continue. More please and soon.

Vivid details and I like how you wove in trivial facts and history into the story, and, despite your reasoning, I am still sticking my tongue out at you. So there.

oh, seems like H’chak-di’s death is synonymous to death of your fanfic. :-(

Are there any chances of you continuing this story? I find myself irrecoverably hooked to this tale! The quality you put into your characterizations and the full plot make this an exceptional read!

(btw, I love dastardly plot twists...)

will you update this? it`s really a fine piece of art.

I really liked H'chak'di, but, yeah, you do have to kill off characters sometimes to further the plot. So (shameless fan begging), update soon?

This probably ranks in the top ten AvP fics on f f net, no joke. Most fics I've read won't dare to kill off a major OC (especially if it's a human, vamp, etc.), because they don't want to kill off the 'best' character, though it makes it much harder to have a good plot. You have courage in doing this. Wow,I'm certainly sticking to the end with this fic even if others don't.

I'm sad to see H’chak-di die, but you are right in that death does not ask when it comes. I've enjoyed the story so far, you have done a marvelous job in sculpting the yautja society as well as the plot.

Could't you have just added something for Eschta to have in memory of H'chak-di?

Oo Well. I've been reading sense chapter one and it was honestly a well rounded story. Though, I must have to admit that I am quite...utterly disappointed in the death of Anise. Granted, as you stated it was the plan from the getgo - but still.

You spent 22 chapters building up her character - making her a "major focul*SP* point" of the story and how, as it was stated, her fate and Escthta's fates were entwined..only to go off and kill one of the main characters. While it's a good plot twist and all - from what I can tell by everything your stating is the story isn't done by a long shot or least only half way through it. And you give her such an undignified death like that..disappointment is abound, greatly so.

I've read many stories on this site, some of which pulled that trick there - though not in the middle of it all. They did it at the end - allowing them more space to make a follow up story or the like. And the way Escthta reacts to the beast is utterly...rubbish? From everything I have seen in fanfictions, books, comic books, movies, games..ect ect. If a newly blooded or even a senior blooded warrior can go up against a Hive of Xenomorphs and it's queen without "freezing in fear"...i'd have to expect that top predator of his home world would be little next to nothing.

Cause seriously - don't care how high on the food chain it is. After facing such odds in the blooding rituals and such, it's little more then an utter nuisance. Even for an exiled hunter. Let alone how nonchalant he appears to act when he first detects the scent - i'd have to assume that any really skilled hunter as soon as they detected something "that terrible" every sense and training skill would be on top alert to where the damned thing couldn't get that close to harm Anise.

So while I may end up continue reading this fanfiction - I must have to say, and speaking for some of the other fanfiction writers I have pushed to read this story as well, you dropped quite a few rungs on that respect ladder for a fanfiction writer.

So while that damned magazine may of said that - sure. For a long assed, 60+ chapter book that would work..but for a fanfiction pretaining to Yautja hunters? Not so much. And to quite it as you have done, "But the protagonist prevails, surviving when we thought he was doomed." This is where you screwed up. You had two main characters. Escthta and Anise. Batman and Robin. Starsky & Hutch. You take one away, sure - they still may be badass...but the story is thereby lacking key elements that keep it entertaining. Such as how Anise reacts or acts around her so called "frozen in sheer and utter fear by some damned animal yet can face a horde of Xenomorphs with only a plastic spork and win" protector. Really. Seriously. Dude.

Uncool.

If the story dies - it's not because of the readers abandoning it, well it will be, but the root cause would be you deciding to take something in a magazine, that's for major books and trying to apply it to a fanfiction. Really, dude. Come on now. Again I will say the word and the only word that can describe that rather and truthfully moronic blunder of a thought.

Uncool.