enough with the harshing
what's a KP fanfic without a lovey-dovey ending?
bravo, Mr. Doug

oh, dear
here I go again
gotta go with specter 6 on this one
Josh with a sword? & getting the goods on the Monkey Master?

UNLESS--speaking parenthetically & hypothetically--like my last review--Ron let Josh go deliberately--the better to set him for a sitch where he would incriminate himself--which he did in the next chpt.

doug, my fellow fanfic'er, I am so sorry. I sound like such a nitpicky reviewer to myself

it seems like Ron let Josh go pretty easily, having beat the daylights out of Drakken & Gil with far less provocation.

HAVING SAID THAT, I could attribute it to (just brainstorming) someone with lots of experience regarding the criminal element and the exposure to the judicial system--namely Shego--taking Ron aside and warning him:

"Look, Sidekick. I can appreciate how you feel with your partner--and someone you might even have feelings for--at death's door. But if you want to catch the the s.o.b.--and I mean with an airtight case--you've got to stop acting like a rogue cop. Are you gonna beat the crap out of every Team Possible villain? That's a lotta busted heads. Plus--like I keep telling you--this didn't fit Dr. D's and my M.O. And it doesn't fit MonkeyPaw's--or the Mad Golfer--or the International-Singing-Sensation-Pop-Star with the Le Goop hairdo. This has the marks of something personal! Now get a grip. Stop acting like a psycho and start acting like a sleuth! You got me and Nerdlinger in your corner. There! Said my piece!"

and I've said My piece.

good showing how Ron was all torn up, with threatening to tear the reporter up.

here I am harshing again--or maybe I'm not quite that hostile a critic. I have a few hospital scenes of my own in the draft stage. You could've had a real cryfest with Ron & Mr. Dr. P., with the hugs & the bawling.

Liked how Barkin was commiserating with Ron in the quiet manly way, man-to-man--conveying the deeply felt empathy without the emotional show.

Forgot to include it in my last review, I won't let the same chpt be reviewed twice. Very sweet & endearing how Kim kept dropping hints to Ron, without actually telling him how she felt.

it's been a few decades for me, but the memory of the sweetness of that first love persists

liked the way you incoporated the reference to the "shot heard 'round the world". Also liked the footnotes explaining the various historical references.

that was the carrot. here comes a stick. don't want to sound like I'm harshing.

just wondered. Kim babysits and Ron makes nacos. Would they earn enough for each one to have their own ride? With Kim, there's no question that both of her folks are in well-paying occupations--but as we see in the "Bueno Nacho" episode, Mr. Dr. P. can be quite frugal when Kim is angling for some money--unless he's persuaded that a set of wheels is more sensible than the newest trendy article of apparel. & given the way Ron's scooter looks in K.P. StD, I wonder if his car wouldn't be a beater instead of a classic.

As I said, don't want to sound like I'm harshing. I like the way you picked out personality-based vehicles

liked the contrasting diaries

Great ch!

Doug, nice little story. Kim realises her future is with Ron, not Josh. Josh is portayed as a controlling little back stabber. Ok, I can live with that. I can also live with Ron being much more capable. In truth, according to the series, Ron becomes MUCH more capable. Drakken + Shego I can beleive don't being taken for pasties. Josh must be one hell of a shot to hit just where he did. Must have went to sniper school.
I can beleive that Kim and Ron get together in the end.

Thanks,

Larry (Sentinel 103)

Rereading this, it struck me. Where would Josh get a sword, and why would he be carrying one? After all, he set up an ambush. He's a long range killer, not a close up one.

That was kinda dark. Ron going all Death Wish/Charles Branson was an amazing contrast to the happy go lucky teen everyone saw on the tv show.

great story i just went from not liking josh to hating him

Great story. Overall, I enjoyed it. I really think that the whole Kim-keeping-Ron-in-check thing adds another layer to their dynamic. I also really like the nod to X. That said, I'm not a big fan of the whole Josh-as-a-psycho-killer motif. I prefer captainkodak1's approach, but that's just personal feelings, and it doesn't change the fact that this story just plain rocks.

great story, excellent work, i love it

fatal atraction was a great story what is the title of the next story?

hm... nice so farm but Bonnie's reaction seems a bit off, er I mean she switches way too easy from her start up to her apology.
I'd say Ron might be overreacting a bit, but hospitals, specially when someone close to you is in them, tend to have some effects on people (on the other hand I think it might work a bit better if you give it some time to boil, that's t adding perhaps a few o hand comments (not nearly as uh cold), and tara's reaction, dunno, could use some polishing (but that's me)
still a very good piece.