...so then is she not really dead...I'm so confused! But the story is still amazing!...damn it i know this is full of irony but it is ironic that he actually had a dead bride (which is a huge theme in the book)...or does the irony lay in the fact he THOUGHT he had a dead bride but she's really...not dead...?

Completely messed up in the best possible way. Very erotic and passionate.

That was the sexiest most erotic amazing experience I have ever read. Titillating.

ah the bitter irony

Brava. I love the idea, and why anyone should be offended by anything written (as opposed to really done) is a topic for elsewhere, I think. You keep up the tension between reality and fantasy very nicely; though I wonder if the title doesn't give the game away too soon. Could it be called "living wife" or something like that (ooh, irony!).

Other suggestion, though of course you may not wish to revisit this: watch for language which is equivocal. You've got a third person narrator, but it's very much in Erik's head. So "maybes" and "almosts" and "perhapses" can be limited. For example, "almost without a morsel of regret" could be "with only a morsel of regret" or "the merest morsel of regret." It makes the sentiment stronger. I am guilty of this all the time. If you're in the character's head there's no reason to be uncertain in your tone, unless the character truly truly is.

Disturbing, but wonderful!

It's amazing what a person can do with the right kind of raw material.

Bizarre, twisted, chilling, beautiful. Fabulous piece of writing.

Wow. Gutsy stuff, that!
Read the first draft and that that one was disturbing but BRAVO for making it even more so (just when you think it can't get any wierder!).
Loved it, though, honestly. A lot of madness in our dear ERik, a lot of sickness. In Kay's book he seems almost to have a love affair with death. This brings that provacatively, and beautifully, to life. Very nice.

Hahah, I hate how FFN tries to stop us from reviewing more than once! But, it neglects the fact that one can review from more than one computer! :D

The review itself: Iinntteerreessttiinngg "addition" in content!

You said you only "added" content, but I think you changed the tone
entirely. The *original* draft (hahah, more like the 4th draft that was officially submitted for the contest) had an anguished Erik who takes Christine out of desperation. This Erik is far more cool, calm, and collected. (Sorta reminds me of your edits for Temperance for chapter 19, changing the tone from desperate and submissive to Raoul's logic to a sort of "very well, I'll humor the vicomte" tone.) A bit more like your Temperance!Erik, yes?

I also think the narration is a lot more solid and concise in this draft. Because of your revisions, this version makes you think twice.
It's less clear that Christine was dead to begin with, and it's less clear that Erik thinks he's imagining Christine come to life. It takes
an alert reader to figure out what's actually happening, maybe even a couple of rereads to fully comprehend what happened. :) (Yeah, even
with your summary.) But it definitely makes the whole reverse necrophiliating more obvious, especially with the line, "Not yet, the corpse wept, not yet, Christine." :D

You know what would be really neat? Is if you somehow incorporated a sort of play on words/irony with Christine as both a "living bride" AND "dead bride." I guess you already have that going.. In a way, Christine can only be Erik's living bride by being his dead bride. In
life, Erik would never take her, but in death, she can finally perform her wifely duties she's supposed to perform while alive.. only in death can she truly come to life for him. :D I guess if you emphasized that, it would add a whole new level of irony. :D

Enough babble. I didn't like your phic that much at first, but now that I'm rereading it, I like it more and more. :D Eek! I'm the necrophiliac now! (and yes, I'm aware that all my abuses of the word "necrophilia" aren't real words. ;)

Iinntteerreessttiinngg "addition" in content!

You said you only "added" content, but I think you changed the tone entirely. The *original* draft (hahah, more like the 4th draft that was officially submitted for the contest) had an anguished Erik who takes Christine out of desperation. This Erik is far more cool, calm, and collected. (Sorta reminds me of your edits for Temperance for chapter 19, changing the tone from desperate and submissive to Raoul's logic to a sort of "very well, I'll humor the vicomte" tone.) A bit more like your Temperance!Erik, yes?

I also think the narration is a lot more solid and concise in this draft. Because of your revisions, this version makes you think twice. It's less clear that Christine was dead to begin with, and it's less clear that Erik thinks he's imagining Christine come to life. It takes an alert reader to figure out what's actually happening, maybe even a couple of rereads to fully comprehend what happened. :) (Yeah, even with your summary.) But it definitely makes the whole reverse necrophiliating more obvious, especially with the line, "Not yet, the corpse wept, not yet, Christine." :D

You know what would be really neat? Is if you somehow incorporated some kind of play on words/irony with Christine as a "living bride" AND "dead bride." I guess you already have that going.. In a way, Christine can only be Erik's living bride by being his dead bride. In life, Erik would never take her, but in death, she can finally perform her wifely duties she's supposed to perform while alive.. only in death can she truly come to life for him. :D I guess if you emphasized that, it would add a whole new level of irony. :D

Enough babble. I didn't like your phic that much at first, but now that I'm rereading it, I like it more and more. :D Eek! I'm the necrophiliac now! (and yes, I'm aware that all my abuses of the word "necrophilia" aren't real words. ;)

Interesting train of thought you had there.

Facinatingly morbid. I think I enjoyed that a little too much.. :-D

So is this the most Christine friendly story you are capable of writing? Haha! I bet talking her into THIS one was an interesting conversation...

Stitchgrl: "My dear, I have another story for you!"

Christine: (A look of horror crosses her face) "Oh!... are you... going to send me to Hell again?"

Stitchgrl: (Laughing maniacally) "Oh no, no, no! Of course not, precious! That was just a one-shot! We have something extra special planned for this one!"

Christine: (Still looking pale) "Are you... um... going to have Erik verbally and mentally abuse me for several chapters?"

Stitchgrl: "Not this time, pet! You get to marry him! And he'll love you very much!"

Christine: (Sighs in relief) "Oh thank heavens..."

Stitchgrl: (A toothy grin) "There's just one catch..."

Christine: (Eyes suddenly snap up. She begins to tremble slightly.) "Yes?"

Stitchgrl: (Cackles) "Well, I'm going to kill you. I won't explain how, but you will be dead."

Christine: (Looking shocked) "I... You're going to kill me?"

Stitchgrl: "Yes! You'll go out to buy some bread, and then I'll randomly kill you! You'll just DIE! Haha! Isn't that a scream?!"

Christine: (Clutches her hands tightly to her dress) "I go out to buy bread and I die." (Her lip is quievering) "Will it be... painful?"

Stitchgrl: "Oh, I don't know... Probably. But that's not even the best part!"

Christine: (Knuckles tighten till all blood has been drained from them) "It isn't?"

Stitchgrl: (Leans in closer) "See... when Erik finds your body, he is going to take advantage of you. Sexually. Because you died and he didn't get the chance to. It will be very magical! Very special! Your clammy corpse will scratch at his head! How wonderful!

"So tell dearest! What do you think?"

Christine: "..."

Haha! Great job, kisses!

you sick, sick person. I really dont know what to say.