One of the two best ranma Palladium/Rifts crossovers around, the other being Journey. This story is just fun to read. When attempting a multidimensional plotline, it's bound to be a little chaotic. Love your characters. Love the story. Hope it's continued.
Dang! Thats it? I guess some sort of conclusion was to much to hope for.
Some guy 7/22/09 . chapter 21
I like this story. I really do. It took a bit of getting used to the whole { } [ ] thing, but I genuinely liked it. Sure I barely recognized more than half the crossovers, but that's not that bad.
The reason why I couldn't even get through this chapter is that you've got too much going on that it's tedious to remember what's what. And that is that bad. You're a good writer, but it's too chaotic and eventually, annoying. It's a shame. You've got Ranma's POV, Setsuna's, Ami's, Ishtar's, the weird guys (shadow, bard, whoever the hell they are), eyecatchers (I don't even understand what that is), Urd's POV, then you have a whole battle scene going on somewhere that seems almost completely unrelated, then you have the "Deep Lord", and then you have the weird ass chess scene. Yeah.
Did I miss any? Probably. And that was just this chapter. Granted, it's a long chapter, but still.
As I said before, chaotic and annoying. Notice how about half of what I wrote were your POV's/scenechanges/whatever. Which proves my point. It might be more manageable if it was smaller, but even so. Also, you provide the bare necessities of an exposition describing Ranma's 10(?) years in the other dimension. All I know from it is that he was there, stuff happened, women love him, and people want to kill him. That's barely anything. Not that bad on it's own, but combined with everything else, *sigh* it's just too much. I'm sorry, I really liked this stis story, but I can't keep reading it.
If you actually read this, know that you're a good writer and I hope that you understand my point. Basically, you're doing too much micro managing, as in, you're trying to focus on every single detail. Which is too much.
Sincerely,
Some guy who would have kept reading this story otherwise
YES! Your alive! I thought you had given up writting, but you are still at it! YES! Please get back to writting this GREAT story! PLEASE! I LOVE this story, please continue!
Well the chaos comes to an abrupt end. You seemed to have done your best to string along as many possible events, cross overs and characters in the last dozen or so chapters. I really hope you pick this story up again, because after all that random chaos it would be nice to see what you planned to do with it.
Very strange fic over all so far, the first few chapters rush threw to many plot points. Barely glazing over his arival and 8 or so years of life in the rifts world. After that things slow down a bit and make some sense, around chapter 20 though things seem to really take a dive. You cut to numerous side scenes which may have a point over all but you have hardly any established connections to Ranma to point out their puprose. The fact that some of them get more detail then Ranma doesn't help much either. I also felt the sailor scout battle was a bit of a bust as well. Common problem in the Ranma fan fiction, he goes from Ubber cool fighting machine to pathetic wimp for no reason at all. Given that the whole sailor scout bit was a misunderstanding, why did he stay? He can fly at speeds greater then sound, why did he stay and dodge till he nearly died? He did not pull out his sword, he did not try to flee, he didn't even try to talk them out of it. Then after the great SM battle the next few chapters were very random and unconnected, those Rebel battles on distant plannet got more attention then anything Ranma was doing.
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