hey hon geuss who?!? me! yeah i like this one. maybe you should write a follow up where she craks and finally gets that someone who she can talk to and cry on. just a thought. but yeah i like this one...first one i read but what ever.

Hullo, mate.

Uhmm. I might suggest just thinking a little bit longer on the characters when you're writing. For example, you feel like making a character swear, ask yourself, "What would Tohru do?" Japan has a certain social law, and Tohru being part of the higher class, (which is strange considering...) she might be angry, but she would be vulgar about it.

And the only other thing is that you only use her name once. This may be on purpose, but if it isn't I feel I should mention that it's generally good practice to keep specifying a name for a character. This rule is similar to the "and-rule." You know, that one that says you should continue a sentence for too long, using 'and'? 'She/he/it/etc.' is the same way.

Still, it bloody brilliant plotting. I truely think you have some great ideas, you just need to put more thought into your writing.

omg...ive always thought that deep down, tohru was all frustrated and depressed! '.' i love the bird, im not sure why (oO;) i love ur FB fanfics! ^^

I -was- beginning to wonder about what Tohru really thinks. Like what she thinks about cleaning up after three guys who can't go to the BATHROOM without making a mess! (don't psyche yourself out with that one, I didn't mean anything gross by it!)

It makes perfect sense that she wouldn't be happy at all. I still try to take her advice, though. Like: "All my memories are precious to me, the good and the bad". And actions speak louder than words, she's very nice to people, so I try to follow that, too.

Great idea that she's talking to a bird!

Anyway, g'baii!

Love and huggletackles from,
-BoomKat-

Wow, that was very sad. I'm glad you wrote this because if more people read it, maybe they will understand that Tohru does have a darker side. After all she's gone through, there's no way she can be happy all the time.

Why "definitely a one shot"?

Why not expand?
What would happen if Yuki or Kyo had overheard her talking to the bird? Or maybe Kureno? Or Akito?
Shigure?

Pick someone. You could really take this places.