this story is so corny but 4 sum reason i luvs corny stuffs!

Yay, this is a great story! I can't wait until you update! Keep it up!
~Azuna-chan

Yay! Cool story. You should update it. By the way, thanks for reviewing my story, The American Pretears!

Great job :D I love the begging of your story. Hopr you finish it soon.

hmm it seems good.

*holds out hand and waits then looks down out at hand* well? Where's my million dollars? Lol
J/K i don't want a million dollars but i can tell you what i'd like to see happen! Can you update this tory soon? It's looks like it would turn out nicely!

-CDM

I'm not flaming you so please don't get mad at me because I'm only trying to help you. First of all, Himeno wasn't freaked out when Hayate was inside her. That would freak any girl out, I mean come on!(I would've probably screamed bloody murder). In addition, I think you move a little too fast with the story. I know how it is to be impatient to get a chapter out, but maybe this could have been broken down into two chapters. Example...Maybe you could have made the story of Kaoru and Mrs. Awayuki the prologue and go into more detail on feelings and personality, and events (while five-year-old Himeno listens to the story). Then the next chapter could be eleven years later when Himeno meets Hayate. But, you do have an excellent plot and I must commend you on it. It would be nice to get to know Himeno's mother since in the anime she's dead. If you go into detail, your readers will come to know and care about your characters. That way if you have some tragedy planned for later on (I'm not saying you do, but maybe if you do) it will cause readers to feel it more. When I read a story that's what I like to do, feel what the characters are feeling. And your evil lady needs more description too. (though you did a good job with describing the demon larvae). But congratulations on your first fanfic ever. I look forward to seeing where you go with this, but perhaps you might consider my constructive criticism. I'm not trying to tear you down but just to give you helpful suggestions. Hope I didn't offend you. You did pretty good for your first try actually.

For your first fic, I'm actually impressed and you worked really hard to make up a story. :) It's so cute and Hayate/Himeno relationship reminded me so much of Serena/Darien. I'm another Sailor Moon nut fan. Hehehe... Anyways good luck to you and it's nice to see a Canadian writer. This rocks. Anyways, I would love to write just a Pretear based fic but I'm always into crossover. Come to think of it, Sailor Moon and Pretear HAVE alot in common. :)

good start. update soon