This is good, but lacks detail. I'd like it if you were to do a rewrite at some point to make it better quality, more elaborate.

Oh my god. Oh my GODS. You're so tricky! I almost missed it! *dies of shock* Gosh, I'm still too choked to type. Give me a minute...

Holy cow- Raenel and Shuryntus?? Gods, that's a great twist. But Kalli and Mae are going to be ticked when they finally reveal themselves... aren't they? Agh! So cool! But you know, the best part was that you only implied and suggested through description, rather than having them actually admit it.. great stuff!

Hmm, as at first, when Raenel called Ry her 'love' I was like "what the.." but then I went over the descriptions right before that, and right after very carefully and then I just about choked to death. That was quite the evil goodness. I love it!

And once again, it's so delightful how Mae and Kalli's relationship evolved. They really are adorable in their contented state.. I hope they stay that way, and I think they will.

Hm, and though I'm sad to see the end, that was a -wonderful- ending. Not only has the Kalli and Mae troubles been resolved, but now a future, the continuation of their lives, has been hinted at (what with the sneaky lion and serpent) even though the story is over. It really is a great ending.

Although.. now I'm terribly sad it's over. You've no idea how much I enjoyed reading each chapter, and worrying and speculating over what was going to happen next..

Break of Dawn has been such an incredible adventure, I can't thank you enough. But, that said, I still want to thank you for the inspiration and motivation you gave me, and of course, thank you for writing this marvelous fanfiction. The fact that you liked Rotd enough to write Break of Dawn just floors me. I'm still stunned. As, again, I've enjoyed it so very much..

Hem, well, I hope I'm not embarrassing you, but that's all true..

*laugh* Willy Nilly..? Well, if you say so. But I didn't notice any mistakes at all. (But I've done that in Rotd! Rimiya's hair started out as blond, and then it miraculously turned brown. As did a wooden floor suddenly become marble a chapter later..) Though, again, I didn't notice any mistakes like that..

Oh, and what's this? You want me to write out a time-line for the Dawns? We should definitely confer! The first Dawns, you say? Now that has my brain churning with plot bunnies, too. We will definitely have to talk over this.. definitely.

Alright.. future planning has made me a little less sad that it's over.. but still.. it's been so good! I'm going to miss waiting for updates..

..However, serious now, Thank you so much, Mina. I'm always going to adore Break of Dawn.

-Inky

Alright, I'll leave the rest of the talking to e-mails and end this thing! *hugs*

It's incredible to see how far they've come, from coldly arguing and hurting each other all the time, to being so cuddly and considerate. Mae really is prudish and easy to tease, but yes, that certainly makes her all the more loveable. And as for Kalli, she's just... well, what to say? She's likely the best thing that ever happened to Mae, as she's really pulled the Dragon from her 'chilly disposition' and made her live. But! Mae to has finally provided the love/protection and caring that Kalli always needed, too! Oh, it's so good!

Not to mention I loved the fluffy romance in this chapter. I just about crooned at the cuteness. They truly are -adorable- together now.

The part with Raenel made me laugh; I certainly wouldn't want to be Braliin (the rotten bastard!) under her guard. She's delightfully vicious, that's for sure..

And oh my goodness, the line "It was worth it" totally made me think of Rotd (or maybe I just have too much rotd on the brain?) during the Griffith/Viya fiasco when Ikeda says "He is worth it." So cool, they almost mirror each other!

*sweats* I hope this- "And in that moment, life was perfect" doesn't mean something bad is going to happen soon. (It always does in rotd.. gaa..) but no.. there's only one chapter left! So.. maybe peace for good?

Oh, I can't wait to read the next chapter. So for the moment, this review is -done-.

*loves*

-Inky

Yay! What a great chapter- fighting, action, romance (^__^), angst, and then resolution (them being safe again)! It had everything!

My goodness, the first paragraph, ["The muddled thunder of voices and boots crashing against the ceiling above their heads was deafening. Kalli winced as the vessel shuddered, a crash of wood grinding against wood, then the sound of something heavy tumbling down the stairs,"] and then the next following description, but I'll refrain from pasting the whole story ^^;;, but it's just beautiful. I was awed once again when I read it. I'm so envious, and I know I say this all the time, but you really do have a way with descriptions...

I was so glad to see Shuryntus again; I love him and he's awesome. Though the other guard, Raenel, seems a little frightening, what with her blood lust.. however I suppose she has a right to be merciless, seeing as she's killing their captures.. *shudder*

Oh yes, and I adored the fighting! But poor Kalli was injured- so it's a good thing Mae was then there to watch over her.. oh, they're so cute now. Really, I just want to squeeze the both of them, now that they've finally stopped -misunderstanding- and bickering with one another.

Also, the very last two paragraphs, well, almost the last two lines, are just lovely! Mae really has softened up quite a lot in the last little while.. she easily accepted that Kalli was a thief (scoundrel.. heh heh) without any scorn or criticism.

Alright, time I quieted up and went on to chapter 14!

-Inky

Oh, I'm so enjoying it!! What's going to happen? I can't believe you keep doing this to me! You're going to give me a heart attack, honestly!

Whoa, and the description at the beginning with the guard's throat was wonderfully gruesome. *shudder* Great illustration! Love it!

Again, I just can't wait to see what's next? Who's attacking them...? Wait, are the lion/serpent going to show up soon, too? Oh, okay, okay, no more speculations.I'm probably wrong.. grah. I'll wait..

Thanks Mina! I'm all excited now, and before I was feeling all dozy and bloated (I drank way too much and now I feel like a whale).. But now I'm alive again!

What's going to happen??

*love*

-Inky

Yay! You did updated! And now, I'm going to review as I go, because that's so much more fun!
*gasp* Have they been captured? Oh -no-! However, I really liked it when, while just waking up from the dream, she referred to arms as wings. So good!
Anyway, reading on.. Hah! True, I bet the evil kidnappers never imagined a Dawn could be so sneaky. Go Kalli! Pick that lock. *loves her*

Oh my *melts into a puddle of goo* ["You've never called me that before... to my face"] GOSH, that bit is great. I'm liking Mae more and more with each chapter. ^_^

Hah! That's so funny... yes, she wasn't being sarcastic about the chains.. >_< Kalli, you're as bad as Ikeda! Twice now she's missed poor Mae's meaning..

*cry* Kalli admitting that she had all the other lovers to try and make Mae jealous, but then it didn't seem to work, oh it's wonderful! (For an angst addict like myself, anyhow)Gaa, I just love it.

YES!! Finally!! Aww, they're so cute about that kiss. *beams at them* Mae, you're adorable. Who wouldn've known her to be so naive in regards to romance..? She certainly is cute this chap! (All of her cold guardedness is gone! Yay!)

... ^_^ This chapter makes me so happy. Good going Kalli! Of course Mae loves you.. and -yes-, another kiss! I can hardly believe it! They working things out, and it's perfect! *jitters* Gosh, mutual love is beautiful, hm?

*laugh* That is funny and random... that Mae would be so confused at seeing Kalli as the same height.. hahaha.. (I don't know why, but it just made me think of Ikeda suddenly waking up and finding that Shanza was the same height. He'd be perturbed too!) >_

Oh, Mina you updated!! *joy*

M, you know what I found really beautiful? The morning description really seemed to mirror the 'calm' Kalli was feeling after her emotional turmoil with silly Mae. Pssh. And SURE she doesn't need anyone.. hmm, maybe she keeps saying that in the belief that if it's said enough times it'll come true? Hah!

*reading* Aw. That was -lovely- [..."You always misunderstand me."] Simply wonderful.. I just love that bit.. oh, my heart pulled..

AH! *shriek* How could you do this to me?

...!

Awful, awful, awful! Evil Mina!

There I was, all astonished and happy that Kalli had finally blurted out that she loved Mae, and they could get things worked out, and finally stop -misunderstanding- each other and you do an AWFUL, EVIL cliffy like that.

Argh...!! I will get you! *shakes fist*

Oh, but calming down now, it was, as usual, a wonderful, wonderful chapter! Except for the evilness, that is. *sigh* But that's all part of the goodness, I supose..

... I'm waiting to see what's going to happen now. Waiting and anticipating and speculating.. I hope you realize that..

Oh, alright, I'll leave you in peace.

*much love*

-Inky

wow. U relly captured Rofd in this story. How far in the future is it? That's the only think that's bugging me. Other than that, this is a very good story. Much luck!

Whe! Hope you get back in the swing of things! I had the same problem with a few of my stories, and just last friday, my muse suddenly gives me a kick in the rear to get writting. And that's what I did.

So don't kick yourself over not being able to write. It happens to all of us. ^_^

this is the Dragonlady, signing off!

*hugs* I love the angst! Mwa ha- take that Mae! Well, I like her too, but she was mean... so it's her turn to feel guilty. Which is a good thing, because now she's off to find Kalli! And hopefully she's realized that she ought to be careful of acting like an unfeeling you-know-what. Ah, I can't wait for a make-up, and I'm looking forward to what will happen when they find each other.. hopefully nothing unfortunate will befall either of them... ^__^ Whoa, well, enough rambling, I think.

Aww, poor Mina, you sound so busy! But it looks like you've still made some time to do quite a bit of writing.. because you're simply amazing and diligent/determined! I am very much put to shame...

But anyway, I'm looking very much forward to reading your updates, especially now that school is -over-!

Alrighty then, til next time! And don't work yourself too hard, Mina!

-Inky

Whe! Awsome start to what looks to be an awsome fic!! Since I'm sure that it's after the fifth now, Happy Belated Birthday, Mina!

I have only one thing to say: the chapters are short, but they get the point across. Unlike my sister's who's chapters are short and drag on and on... No offence to my sister, of course.

Just keep writing. Hopefully you can get another chapter us soon.

This is the Dragonlady, signing off!

Aw. I really do love Shuryntus! (Whoa, that was hard to spell!) But other than the heart-warming he provided, my goodness, I feel so terrible for poor Kalli! Agh, it's just awful, how lonely and desolate she is... or believes she is. Hmm, but hopefully this will be something of a wake up call for Mae?? Or not? Ohh...

Waa, what's this!? Shayn and Colin, other guards to come?? I don't know why I'm so excited, but I am! I can't wait!

And I'm sorry I disappeared again.. this month has been crazy. Although, it doesn't help that now I'm a sickling. Bleh.. if this review stinks, its because the gross liquid-grainy-banana antibiotic has gone to my brain. ^^;;

Again, I can't wait for more! I love you to pieces! Hmm, alright, time to end the madness... Til next time!

-Inky

Oh my. I can feel the plot thickening... such haunting dreams, I love it! I mean I love it in the sort of way that I love angst because, well, because there's nothing more heart-wrenching than your favorite character suffering, so... poor, poor Kalli. What is she going to get herself into next??

Yes. I'm very much enjoying Break of Dawn; I'm so excited to see where it will go! *glomp* Hm, and again, the throne room was perfect- absolutely wonderful, so I must rain praise upon your head, O amazing Mina! *much bowing*

Heh, well, it's sunday night.. that should explain my insanity.. but poor you, don't feel like you're under pressure! I think I'd crack and become completely crazed if someone was reading over my shoulder while I wrote an essay.. especially on someone else's work.. (Then again, maybe they'd be the one to go insane- it takes me over five hours just to write an essay! Because I'm slow.) But you're doing such a superb job, oh I just love it! It makes me so happy.. ^_^ And no kidding, I imagine you must have to reread Rotd often.. so do I, seeing that it's been around a year and a half since I started! Mm, yes, and when I don't reread I have problems.. like making the temple flooring two different materials (first I think it was wood, then a few chapters later I said it was marble or something.. yikes.) And Rimiya at first had brown hair.. but I later said she was blonde. Whoops! *laugh* However, again, you're doing just amazing!

You have books on Egypt and the Nile?? Oh, I love ancient Egypt. But I've got books about Morocco and the Sahara desert on my desk.. ^^;; I should be researching for Methron more, but I think I'm just too lazy. Shame on me.

... A book on sexual reassignment failures?? Heh heh, that must be -quite- amusing after a sexuality class. And June 5th you say? Hm, I should figure out how to send e-cards! It can't be that hard...

Alright, I'll stop plaguing you with this monstrous rambling review. So, til next time!

-Inky

Hah! It worked! Oh, that took forever. But no matter, now it's working..

^__^ My goodness, you've no idea how much I enjoyed the throne room scene. Agh, I'm so much in love with your descriptive talents I can barely stand it! The statues were -wonderful-, and everything was awesome! Especially the very empty thrones of the Lion and Serpent *excited jittering* and I completely understand the symbolism of poor Kalli's Phoenix looking down while the Dragon looks on her. Great stuff! Hm, but will those two ever learn to get along?

Then again, it took something rather drastic to get Shanza and Ikeda agreeing in the beginning, too, so I really shouldn't critisize (spelling? For the life of me, I cannot spell that word properly..) them. But gosh, again, you did the throne room so perfectly.. it was such a pleasure to read. Oh, I enjoyed it! ^_^ Don't worry at all! It was perfect!

Til next time,

-Inky

Those two! They really are silly... but really, I suppose all people are. Heh heh.. your arguments made me laugh- "Gimme the TV remote.. no way in hell.." *chuckle* I don't know why, but I'm very amused. ^__^

Ahh, but now, because they've fought.. maybe next chapter they'll have to make up?? Hmm, and the ocean/night scene.. how very romantic.. *sigh* It's too bad good things don't last.

Hey... are you 20 yet?? Waa, when's your birthday?? And don't worry, 20 isn't old at all! Silly you!

Alright, til next time,

-Inky