   zmanjz
2009-12-04 . chapter 26Wow, THAT was excellently done.
I don't know that I've seen such perfectly executed entrance/cliffhanger in years of reading, or thousands of stories.
Most Authors rely on "The Dire Cliffhanger" because honestly it is far easier to use. It is so hard to write a story in such a way that it is engrossing to the point that you forget the hero except that he cannot safe this day.
You built the story with plot building, key back-story that gave us a glimpse into the very nature of magic. Distracted us with interesting side stories which by them selves were both quite interesting insights into individual characters, but which also began to distract us from the "main characters"
(I am a firm believer in Tolkien's use of Multiple "Main Characters")
Then after the side stories, you bring us back to the main characters, and then escalated the tension with their dialogue.
Finally, when the tension was at it's highest; you have Harry make a Dramatic Entrance.
it was beautifully done. I am rarely suprised, by nearly any plot device (though I still find a way to enjoy stories even when I know what's coming.) But that was wonderful. It's hard to create a story where bad things happen that suprise the reader, but it's even harder to create a story where bad things happen to the characters where finally something wonderful happens.
That kind of suprise is like experiencing the feeling that you got the first time the hero saved the day in any melodrama.
In the last 6-7 years, I have only seen two such entrances in execute this perfectly in such a way that I didn't see it coming, and it was a complete suprise which turned my darker emotions on their head and replaced them with excitement and anticipation.
Excellently done.
Because the sequences are simply awesome, I've included those two sequences below. It's too bad that this story is already among my favorites list, I wish this site had a method to nominate excellent chapters for awards.
refrenced material:
In the Warhammer 40,0 epic "Ciaphas Cain: Hero of the Imperium" (by Sandy Mitchell) When Cain is basically going on a Suicide mission into caverns below the facility they are evacuating in order to demolish a necron warp portal, when the author, having made us forget about Cain's friend and aide-de-camp...
-- Begin Quotation --
“Equipment and storage crates littered the floor, and I recognized it as one of the main utility areas we’d passed through on our Ambull hunt, little guessing the horrors we’d find in the depths below. Beyond this point out journey would truly begin.
‘Movement.’ one of the troopers raised his hellgun, and the others melted into the industrial detritus around us with breath taking speed. Leaving me feeling uncomfortably exposed. A lone figure was lurking at the mouth of the tunnel ahead of us, half hidden in the gloom beyond. After a moment to recover my composure, as the rational part of my mind kicked in to remind me that Orks or Necrons wouldn’t bother with concealment, I strode forward unconcerned expecting to find some stray miner or tech-priest finishing off a last-minute job prior to joining the evacuation. As I got closer to the solitary figure I felt my spirits inexplicably lifting as I caught a faint whiff of a familiar odour.
‘Jurgen,’ I called out/ ‘What the frack are you doing here?’ My aide stepped fully into view, and the storm troopers emerged from the cover they had taken, looking mildly sheepish. ‘I thought you were stowing our kit on the shuttle.’
‘All taken care of sir.’ He produced a thermal flask. ‘I thought you might like a bit of tea for later. And a sandwich.’ He burrowed in one of his pockets for a moment. ‘It’s in here somewhere…’
‘I see,’ I said, silencing the barely audible snickering from a couple of the storm troopers behind me with a quick glance before turning back to Jurgen again. ‘And the Melta?’ He shrugged, the heavy weapon slung across his back shifting as his shoulders moved.
‘I couldn’t let you carry your own provisions, sir. Wouldn’t be fitting.’
‘Quite.’ I said, astonished yet again at the depth of his loyalty. For the first time I began to feel that I might get out of this ludicrous expedition in one piece after all. ‘I suppose you’d better come with us, then.’
‘Very good, sir.’ He saluted as smartly as he ever did, which wasn’t very to be honest, but more than made up for that in enthusiasm, and we set off into the darkness, towards the terrors which lay in wait for us in the frozen depths below.”
-- End quotation --
The only other recent entrance of this type I’ve seen was at the beginning of Stargate Atlantis Season one's season finale.
It opens after a short recap showing Atlantis under siege with wraith hive ships approaching Atlantis, their last weapon having been used to destroy one of the three ships, but there remaining no way to eliminate the other hive ships.
The Atlantis team activate the self destruct, and head toward the Stargate to evacuate the city before the Wraith can seize Atlantis and the only stargate capable of reaching the Milky Way Galaxy. McKay begins dialing the gate to escape as the timer ticks down in the background… suddenly:
-- Begin Quotation --
McKay: (scared) “We’ve got an Incoming wormhole”
Maj. Sheppard: “Is there an IDC? Who is it?”
McKay: (in shock) “Stargate Command.”
Dr. Weir “Are you sure?”
McKay: “I’m positive.”
Dr. Weir: “Lower the Shield”
McKay lowers the Stargate’s shield and men dressed in American combat uniforms begin walking out of the Atlantis Stargate wearing a unique combination of US Marine camouflage, and the red Airborne Corps Berets. The leader approaches Dr. Weir.
Officer: (in a confident drawl) “Dr Weir.”
Dr. Weir: confused “yes.”
Officer: “Colonel Dylan Everett, United States Marine Corps. General O’Neil sends his compliments for a job well done under extraordinary circumstances.” As large cargo containers begin exiting the Stargate, Colonel Everett executes a perfectly crisp salute to Dr. Weir. “You Are Relieved.”
Maj. Sheppard: “Sir, we’re about to evacuate.”
Col. Everett: “Without a fight?”
Maj. Sheppard: “Yes Sir.”
Dr. Weir: “On my orders.”
Col. Everett: “That evacuation order is rescinded. I assume you’ve armed the self destruct device.”
Maj. Sheppard: “Yes we have, but as Dr. Weir was trying to tell you-”
Col. Everett: “I am going to need you to disarm it immediately.”
Dr. Weir: “Hold on a second Colonel, I don’t think you fully grasp the situation-“
Col. Everett: “You have three wraith hive ships bearing down on your position, and precious little to defend yourselves with. That about sum it up?”
McKay: (amazed): “You got our message.”
Col. Everett: “We got your message.”
Dr. Weir: “It’s down to two Hive Ships, we managed to destroy one.”
Col. Everett: “Good for you, that should make my job a little easier.”
Maj. Sheppard: “What exactly is your job, Sir?
Col. Everett: “I should think that would be obvious to you major. We are going to defend Atlantis at all costs.”
-- end quotation --
I love a good entrance. |
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