I love you dude! No i hate you! What did you think you were doing, getting me to wait all that time for the next chapter! You should be ashamed of yourself! But thanks for writing it, altough it *was* very short, but hey, only the closing chapter right? So when can we expect the next one ;)? And dont give me that about you not writing anything more, or il kill you with my bare hands!

Johnny, Johnny, Johnny...you done do wrong yet it be so good. Still, maybe you should untangle yourself from your traveling headache harem and find the time to read what is doubtless to be a long review. First off (as always) the stuff that bugged me, or I thought was bad (why is this always the biggest section of my reviews). Commas...I love 'em, you love 'em we all love 'em. But I swear that every english teacher in existence taught us how to use 'em diferently. You seem to suffer from comma splices (hooking together seperate sentances with commas) and occasionally put a comma where (at least I think) one isn't needed. (i.e. the final sentance of ch. 7...is that second comma needed? I don't think so) My next problem is a bit styallistic but I'll try to make a long rant short. When Johhny skips over stuff it sorta grabs at my craw (sorry, writing lots of Corax lately) Less so in the bank, but much more so in the hotel assault and some of the planning scenes. It just seems that if the event happens it should be worth writing out. (Or at least having him skip over stuff without specifically saying so. You could always just say...so we broke into the bank and got to work on cracking the safe...well...I wouldn't use those exact words, but you get the idea) I do accept though that perhaps this only bugs me. Lastlly (and a very nitpicky nothing note) but the entire fight with the captured Sabbat seemed illogical. First off, why didn't he grow out his claws right off? That first punch would have ended the fight. Also, Protean claws inflict aggravated damage. Meaning a throat wound by them should affect a vampire just as much as a mortal. Besides these issues this is a fairly entertaining read. (It helped me relax after a pretty rough day, so my thanks to you) I think Boom-Boom owes it to himself (and me, his biggest fan) to just lay Johnny out at least once. (The little monkey is just a bit too cocky) Spelling seemed to be fine, and the formatting was good. (though more so in later chapters then earlier...you might want to update them for a uniform look) Other then this I have little more to say (that's a first) but I'd say you get one claw up, good fun stuff.

U write too slowly :(...like once a year...u gotta be loyal to ur follo...admir...sla...fans :) Oh and i love ur humor :)

Dude, we need to have a serious talk about this overly violent version of Charlie's Angels...

A very well written story and please continue the story.

As Always Real Nice Nevermore! Waiting for the next episode, but plz make em longer!

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Searching For God?

Keep Looking...

High Class As Always! You Are One O My Favorite Writers Here At Fanfiction.net! And Belive Me Ive Read Alot!

ps. Please Continue.Ds

I think the true irony in this chapter, for for the few that played in the Telemon campaign, is that somebody stole Johnny's car.

Very sound, very interesting and very well-written. The first person perspective is wonderfully done, making Yakuza seem to come alive (well, as alive as any Kindred's going to get). Yakuza's extremely entertaining when he's allowed to tell the story himself, and you have quite the grasp on the night-time world of the vampires. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, and I really can't think of anything to point out as a place to improve. Just keep writing like this.

very cool, though you might want to check tenses, I think I ran accorss a couple of places where the tense you used was not the right one, the one I remember best was a present tense in a past situation. ANyway I really enjoy the stories, all of them, keep writing.

ooh! Keep going! I really want to hear about the Kindred mixing with Spring Breakers! :