uh, thats pretty sad when you review your own story. Anyways. Um, you must have failed english about a million times, cause you certainly dont know anything about spacing, dialouge, and all that good stuff. Have you ever heard of a PARGRAPH? You write like your in 3rd grade, which you prolly are. The plot (if you wanna call it that) is okay. (you do know what plot is, right?). The rest of it sucks. Theres no exposistion, no rising action. It really was a waste of my time reading this. Heres an idea to improve your writing: THROW IT AWAY! Or you could get someone to read your writing BEFORE you post your crap on a website. Have a nice day.

it still SUCKS

good, keep going. _

Wrire more continue.. make Fi and Clu hook up before he dies. Oh yeah and Annie and Jack are together right because why is she always trying to touch him. lol, anyway I sound really crazy, continue!

this was a really great story. You should keep going with it.

that was nice but kinda kawaii _

I like the idea of this story, but it was badly written. Everything was kinda rushed...I can tell that you would be a good story writer if you took your time and wrote it out in more detail, didn't use old lines from the show, and explained when and how she left that stuff for clu.

Oookay. A bit strange... yup. That was just, strange.

cute story o) kinda rushed but it's cute

Cool story! Well, at least I think so!