The watchful, sly tone is great! Perfect for Miphtahyah. I would suggest, though, that you expand on some of your generalizations, paint pictures of some of the things you talk about. Maybe show Mara watching Sheftu leave, or describe them after you say they like each other's looks (his hands, her eyes, whatever), etc. I think it'll help your readers really see what you're describing and will make it longer ;) Really cool idea, to write about this Miphtahyah's POV, by the way!

I just realized that I never submitted a signed review to this story and I looked back at my anon review and was horrified about how certifiably insane I was back then. But anyways I really like this story. Miphtahyah sees everything and they make that very clear in the book so it's understandable that she would see the chemistry and connection that Mara and Sheftu possess. This is a very good story.

I really like this.

I never thought of writing a fic about Miphtahyah.

This makes me want to look at your other stuff :)

Love,

MooseMouse

Nice piece. I like that you used one of the minor characters. One who would know "Sashai" well.

I like it. [I admit I'm a sucker for fluff, especially when told in another POV.]

Hi wonderful reviewers!

I haven't checked this for over 3 years... wow. I haven't had the time to write fanfiction since then (writing too much other stuff!) but I wanted you all too know that I did read these comments tonight and they make me very happy. Maybe someday I'll come back to this... Whether or not I do I encourage you all to keep this fandom alive! (Yes, despite having no time to write on it, I promise I have reread the book several times in the long interval I've been away.)

Thank you all,

Saber Girl Leia

Thank you! This helped me with the story-line. I didn't know who Ashor was but now i do

This is amazing! Through the many time I have read this books (at least 12 times) I always thought their mutual feelings for each other were obvious. I really should write some MDOTN fan fiction...and you should write more!

This is my very first book that really compeled me to read it over and over again! I'm only 12, but anyone who likes an unusual love story, quik wits, and sees in on most of the main charactors, you should read this book. I've already read it 5 times, and I'm still not tired of it! To me, I like unusual love stories. Please read this book!

"The daughter of the nile" was one of the best books I read when I grew up, and I would have loved to see McGraw writing a sequel about Mara and Sheftu, but since this is not possible anymore, I have to settle for Fanfic ;).

Your fic, though short, is incredibly well written and I'd love to read more of you about M/S.

I love the pov you chose and how you convey the feelings of Miptahyah towards the relationship between Mara and Sheftu.

Please write more, there are so few fanfics about this book, though the dishy sheftu should definitely deserve more!

Belladonna

Please write more! It's really good!

PS. This book is probably the best book I've ever read, and your fanfiction one of the best fanfictions I've ever read...

teehee. this is cute.

Yes! Finally, a good MDOTN story! Please, please, please write more!

Oh, my heavens! This was one of my favorite books when I was in junior high. My sister and I would take turns reading it to one another, even-back in the early sixties! You have brought back a bit of my own youth.

Oh, how I can see this; and a good deal of the imagery I found in this book made its way into my story, "Lesser Ring."

There in the inn, where Mara and Sheftu share news with the juggler looking on and making notes in his head.

How wonderful! Thank you for reminding me I ought to see if I can find this book for myself now. I'd never dreamed that now, so many years after I first read "Mara" I'd find fanfics based on it!

I write LOTR fanfiction, myself, but I hope that you'll check out "Lesser Ring" and see if I might have done some honor to what I began learning of Egypt with this book.

I think this was a really good and creative story, I never would have thought to do one from Miphtahyah's POV. Please write some more.