Reviews for Constant Vigilance

Reviews For: Constant Vigilance

Li22i096 2006-12-30 ch 1,	abuseI really liked the comparison between Sirius as a Savior and Sirius as a Soldier. Very insightful. All-together, very well written. I liked how you went into Remus's character, a little bit. I also thought that along with going into Remus's character after the death of Lily and James, you should have gone into your Star Character's emotions after their death; Sirius's emotions. I liked how you ended the story in Hope. The whole story was quite depressing, as it should be because the whole topic in the book was depressing. But I liked how you added a little bit of hope, or joy at the end when Sirius saw James again. Very good. Very good.
kneesocks99 2006-01-14 ch 1,	abuseOh that was so sad but i really liked it
Lala 2005-05-24 ch 1, anon.	abuseAbsolutely lovely.
lj brown_betty 2005-05-21 ch 1, anon.	abuseI found the structure of this story difficult to follow. I was quite interested by the first paragraph, and then was jerked backwards into some back-story that didn't really seem interesting, which kept intruding. I think you could have started with "now he remembered. He had hit the ground." Your readers are familiar with the canon and don't need to be reminded. Again with the odd word choices. Was Remus' soul "broken," before Lily and James' death? If so, how could that have been, a "last jab," considering that Sirius' death came after and certainly affected him as well. Is Sirius' death really "a twist of fate," something bizarre and unexpected? It seems more like a cruel blow or unexpected tragedy. I suggest, as much as possible, trying to use plain language rather than common phrases. When you use phrases that are commonly heard, it's easy to not think about the actual meaning of them. Likewise, try not to use heavily emotionally loaded language. This is a) cheating, counting on your readers' association with those words to get across an emotional idea with developing it yourself, and b) dangerous, as you have no control over the associations your readers have with that loaded language. For example, when I hear "ecstasy," I tend to associate it with, um... how to put this delicately, "sexual ecstasy." Which isn't, I think, what you intended for James' and Sirius' reunion. It seems too strong for what you intended, anyway, because right after, I find out that Sirius produces merely "a weak smile." Not exactly ecstatic. Sirius' thoughts on solitude and salvation seem strangely deep for someone who has just woken up from being dead with a splitting head-ache. Generally speaking, objects are material, and attitudes are materialistic. I like the general idea: Sirius feeling like he's failed and doomed, and then discovering that death isn't all that bad. But I think you get a little distracted from your main idea.
melihobbit 2005-05-20 ch 1,	abuseOh wow. Where to start? First of all, I want to thank you for taking up the challenge. You've done a wonderful job with it! This is a very emotional peice, beautifully written. My favourite lines by far are "so much for that. So much for everything." And the fact that Sirius simply accepts his fate /punishment without question, is a wonderful touch. The final scenes are lovely- we don't see what he sees, but we don't need to. That second last line really put a lump in my throat. Thanks for writing this, and congratulations on a great response to the challenge! :)
Elwen Armir 2005-05-20 ch 1,	abuseThat was the best thing I've read here in a while, congrats on that. As Adoring has already mentioned, it was very canon and realistic.
thinofsubstance 2005-05-20 ch 1,	abuseAww. It's sweet. Good job capturing Sirius' thoughts. You really managed to get inside his head. Everything seems like something he would think. Does this mean that you're going to be writing more non-Bartimaeus one-shots?
Lucidshard 2005-05-20 ch 1,	abuseHi, This was a really great response to the challenge. I liked Sirius' relections on his life, well thought out :)
adoring 2005-05-19 ch 1,	abuseI've read uncountable stories telling the tale of the passage between Sirius's death and afterlife, but this is by far the best. Very well-written, realistic, and canon. Keep up the good work =D

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