not bad at all. In fact it's pretty good keep writing, dont leave me hanging.

cool story. i'd like to read more,please.

I'm not sure if i read this real well or not, but you rated it nc-17...Its not that bad. maybe pg-13 or R. But anyway, enough of my babbling. i liked it, you did good, can't wait for the epilouge

Good intro to the movie!

Good story

Very cool! Keep writing!

Cool Story.I really mean it ok!

A bit confusing at times. Those o things substituted for quotation marks were annoying. I liked it for the most part though. It has potential. My advice: don't take everything so fast. Allow for some time and give thorough explanations for the sequence of events and how things lead to one another.

I liked it, please continue. will Ethan somehow show up,I'm in suspense.

I like it. Just needs a little polishing! Great work though.