FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination
| FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Nightlit 2005-06-27 ch 4,  | abuseIt is interesting, although I am somewhat confused. The main character is obviously a huntyer, however he has a rather powerful edge for a first imbuing (the tyhree dot Martyr edge). I think red used Bluster yet he seems to be a follower of Zeal, which is of course possible but it would be nice to have a better grasp on his Creed so we know what to expect from him. I am also curious what happened to the Hooker who seemed to be a Avenger (she at the very least had Cleave)? But other than a few things that confused me about how the story is varying from the rules and world, I like it. It is interesting that the main character seems to be nameless and the only thing wehave for Red is Red which seems most likley a nickname. The Zombie was rather normal for an imbuing but it was written well. I would like to see a little more character development so I am a bit more clear on how everything is. I would laso like to see a bit more variation. I hope this story doesn't jsut become kill all the evil monsters since the general WOD is a bit mroe complex than that. Still itis a good start and I would like to see you do a lot more with it. |
| Natters 2005-05-27 ch 2, | abuseintriguing start. more please |
| Natters 2005-05-27 ch 1, | abuseouch, that had to hurt |
| Mitchmaniac 2005-05-24 ch 2, | abuseInteresting. It has that rushed, "thrill" feel to it. I like it. I like some of your descriptions to, like the chunky soup. The whole "i saw worse in nam" thing is sort of cliche, but that's OK. The trick is to eventually overcome the cliches. Anyway, yah. it's a good start I think. |