Reviews for Fate of the Fang

Reviews For: Fate of the Fang - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Ultimate Aries 2006-07-23 ch 5,	abuseYou've got this much of an excuse: Your chapters are HUGE! If you pulled an OperationJohnny and updated once a month with tiny chapters, I'd be upset, but your updates are more than enough to make up for your lack of punctuality. Great fight scenes! Mind over matter!! Ricky out.
FenixPhoenix 2006-07-19 ch 5,	abuseYeah, long time since you updates. Oh, well here goes my review: Plot-line: This is a transitional chapter but it was quite good. Love the introduction of Legault (about time, I love that character). Question: If Linus is one of the four fangs and as strong as you have suggested, how was it that he could not beat Aramin as easily as he should have? If Aramin is as strong as you have implied (he almost beat Linus) shouldn't he be one of the four fangs? Grammar: Perfect, almost no mistakes. Description: Scenes, thoughts and characters are well descibed. Overall: Good chapter, light but necessary. Nice job, keep it up. -FenixPhoenix
Nightmare3 2006-07-18 ch 5,	abuseGreat story so far and I'm glad you updated, it was an overly enjoyable chapter...and Erimus getting caught by Legault was great please update again soon Fiora: Yes don't be like Nightmare and forget
Ardonius-Servant-Of-Zeta 2006-07-18 ch 5,	abuseI don't feel like saying anything intelligent, because I can't find my wallet.
jaffarISthebestever 2006-05-12 ch 4, anon.	abuseI love the story. its one of the best, though it needs tacos and Jaffar. No, hes not to, powerful, just very cool!
Ardonius-Servant-Of-Zeta 2006-01-08 ch 4,	abuseWhat has happened in his past? AHH! The suspense is most painful...
Ultimate Aries 2006-01-03 ch 4,	abuseHeh, yeah. The joke is on me, isn't it? Ah, well. This was an excellent chapter. I am thouroughly impresed with your story, as always, but your updates come as often as mine! Come on, man, get with it. You should try something like I did, and make it a new year's resolution to update more frequently. In fact, after leaving you this review, I think I'm going to work on my (audience gasps) second chapter! YES!! I'm going to do it!! HA-HAA!! (ahem!) 'Scuse me. Now, let's get some thinghs straight. 1) You got Aramin right on, surprisingly enough. I mean, yeah, he prefers gray cloaks, but Eurimus is already clad in gray. And yes, he's a bit more subservient than I'd like, but it fits in ways you'd have to know him to understand. 2) I really like the detail you put into the meeting. That was probably the pinnacle of this chapter. If only it had lasted longer... 3) You're doing indescribably well at this. I am very eagerly awaiting the next chapter, and, for old time's sake, Keep It Up!!
Nightmare3 2006-01-03 ch 4,	abuseYayness of yay! you updated! -pwns random villager 997823435- Fiora: Nightmare has been drinking coffee, lots and lots of coffee Nightmare: good chapter! It was a most enjoyable read and very well written! Update this (and your other fics) soon and we won't ever see the evil probe again Fiora: Then why are you holding it? Nightmare: Um...bye! -leaves-
FenixPhoenix 2006-01-03 ch 4,	abuseFinally! (lol... jk). I know what it is like to not have inspiration...sight. Anyways here goes my review: Grammar: I don't think I saw any grammatical mistakes! Good job (because it is hard to be grammatically correct every time). Characters: I like the way you are portraying the Reed brothe's as well as Linus' humor (Lloyd is still my fav though). Ha! Aramin is also here...lol. Let me guess, Aramin RVN asked you to use him (lol). Anyways it's a good character so far. Scenes: Hey! We have very similar ideas concerning healing spells . As you may already know I also think that the spell only helps heal quicker but it doesn't make 'deep and bad wounds' magically dissapear. The Mark in Erminus' body is a good idea. I found that having body marks helps in the creation of doubts concerning the character's past. Good job. I like the council scene. It gaves us an idea of what the hole story is about and introduces a fine dilema in wethear they should or should not meet. The last scene of the dream is excellent. You leave us wondering what he is remembering and at the same time you make us see that in the end Erminus is only a human and as such he had feelings and frights. Overall: This was an excellent chapter. Can't wait for more! I will cross my fingers so that you may get some inspiration soon.
Gingy Mittens 2005-12-31 ch 3, anon.	abuseHi Draknal! Hi Raven hows Rebbeca? (is that how u spell her name?)Hi Karla hows your brother Karl? Hi Guy...uh your really nice! The fics really good, suspense keeps me reading! Bye-Bye!
RyuKami 2005-10-26 ch 3,	abuseOhh very good fanfic. I want to see more! please continue to write this.
SubStandardDeviation 2005-08-20 ch 3,	abuseWell now...great characterization and plot as always, though grammar quibbles make the English teacher in me cringe... (not that it's THAT bad) And RE your defense at end of chapter: No, you didn't make Eri-san too strong. Just don't expect me to believe he didn't break at least a few bones on the way down.
Ultimate Aries 2005-08-16 ch 3,	abuseNot bad at all! The ntire thing seemed a little... short, though. You might do better to lengthen your chapters. Also, I'm not trying to pry, but I'm a little anxious to see how someone else writes Aramin. His outline is in my reply, if you haven't checked already. Again, I'm curious as to whom this 'young Black Fang member' is. If you're not going to use names, then it's kind of useless to use adjectives. If there were any typos, I missed them. Great job, and Keep It Up!
FenixPhoenix 2005-08-15 ch 3,	abuseOverall: The chapter was awsome. I like where this is going, plus you characterisation of Linus and Lloyd are great. The plot is interesting and original. Your character fits in perfectly! Things I liked the most: 1) Your descriptions are great... you do repeat things sometimes, but that can change as you get better. 2) Characterization is excellent. 3) You are creating mistery around Erminus, which intrigues the reader. Plus you are not letting us know too much about him in the first chapters... it's good to have some secrets began to reveal slowly as the story unfolds... this is, as every writer know, what keeps the readers coming back for more. Suggestions: Writting: 1) ...asked a large Warrior. The thick brown hair along with a scar across his face only added to his warrior status= maybe you should change the 'warrior status' to something like 'fierce status' or 'only added more fierceness to his physic'. 2)The young Black Fang member who he had asked answered= a young fang member answered (it is implied (if he answers) that he was asked to... so you can just leave out the: 'who he had asked' part. 3)but the trip down the mountain would still be dangerous to hike down = you are reapeating yourself... the trip would be dangerous because... etc etc. Other: 1) You should try to find synonyms for some of the words... it helps the story go smoother (not so many things repeated). Plus it looks better (lol). Small note: 1)‘He needs it more than me…’ thought Erimus = lol. this part reminds me so much of Raven in my story!! (Raven and Jaffar scene after a fight). Draknal: This is coming along great. I like your style! Keep it up and I will await patiently for your update (I know what it is like to have writer's block... sighs... I am having one myself with my FFVII story...)
Nightmare3 2005-08-15 ch 3,	abuseYou updated! Well it was a good chapter, and if you deciede to update again we can get to see what this is all about. Good chapter but just one tiny thing...It seems unlikely that Lloyd wouldn't have had the sage cast a fire spell into the gourge. Other than that great chapter with some amusing bits -thinks of Linus with his hair on fire- Nightmare: I'm not mad that you haven't update in like forever! Fiora: Then what's the rectum probe for? Nightmare: Um...O.k. so I'm a little twinsy wincy bit mad? Update Christmas Insanity soon!

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